Dancing with fate
by Spikesslayer8
Summary: Buffy and Spike are half siblings who have the same father but Spike has spend the past two years fighting his attraction to Buffy and with only two weeks left before he leaves for college he thinks he is home free but when their parents decided to go a
1. Chapter 1

_iDancing with fate/i_

_iChapter 1/i_

_iGuilty temptation./i_

He couldn't believe it. In just two short weeks William Giles, or Spike as he preferred to be called, would be starting at UC Sunnydale. At first his parents had questioned why he was so eager to move out of the family home and into a shared house with his mates. True it was right next to the college but their family house was a short ten minute drive away and Spike had his full license and his own car.

Looking out his bedroom window he sighed, looking at the reason. Buffy. She'd walked and talked sexuality since the day she turned fourteen. She was the very essence of temptation and in every way, the true meaning of forbidden fruit.

You see Buffy was his little sister, his half sister but still his half b**"blood"/b** sister. His biological mother Jenny died while giving birth to him almost nineteen years ago. After that, his father Rupert Giles had left England with him and returned to Sunnydale where Jenny had grown up to lay her to rest. It was there that Giles had met up with Joyce again. She had been best friends with Jenny, they had been a source of comfort for each other.

After the funeral, Giles had decided to stay in Sunnydale getting a job at the local high school as the librarianto start afresh. He rented an apartment just big enough for the two of them and got settled in. It was two years later that Giles and Joyce fell in love and decided to move in together. Nine months later Buffy was born.

They had never hidden Jenny from William. Both Giles and Joyce would talk about her, telling him all about her. What she was like, the things she loved to do, how much she had loved and wanted him and how excited she had been when she had discovered she was pregnant.

William forced himself to turn away from the window and the sight of Buffy lying on a towel sunbathing in their yard with only a barely there black bikini on with her two closest friends Willow and Cordy.

William moved around his bed taping up the last of the boxes in his room. When he explained to his parents he just wanted the _i"whole college experience"/i_ to come and go at any time, hang out with his friends, go to frat parties etc, they had reluctantly agreed to let him move out. They had even offered to pay his share of the rent but there was no way he could bring himself to accept it. The tears in his mothers eyes when she had held him crying at how grown up he was, was enough to leave him guilt ridden but to take their money simply because he couldn't keep his perverted thoughts about his sister in check… well let's just say the guilt would near kill him.

No he had told them he would pay his own way, he wanted to. Working with his band Dingoes ate my baby usually paid pretty well and since graduating high school their gigs had

picked up. They usually found themselves working at least 3 nights a week, so he was sure he would get by.

It hadn't always been like this. He could remember a time when Buffy was nothing more than his annoying brat kid sister, but then she had turned fourteen and everything had changed. She had gone from being a kid to a young woman, a vision overnight, and in that short span of time his whole world had been turned upside down. Buffy had always been special to him, they had been close for as long as he could remember. Maybe he had always been drawn to her like this and just fought it; maybe the walls had slowly fallen down. He didn't know for sure but what he did know was that if he didn't get away from her soon, the dam would break and he would do something she would probably kill him for even thinking. And nothing scared him more than Buffy thinking he was some sort of sicko.

Buffy had be furious of course when she found out he was moving out. She hadn't bought his whole wanting the i_"full college experience"/i _line. She knew he wasn't being totally honest with her, that he was hiding something, and after yelling at him that she would figure out what, she had slammed her bedroom door in his face. That had been two weeks ago and while she was talking to him now, she was still giving him a really hard time about it all.

He knew that he was doing what was best for both of them. No matter how mad she was at him, it was the right thing to do. She was his sister bi_**"Half sister"/i/b **_his mind reminded him. Half or not she was still blood and it was still wrong.

Walking to his dresser, he picked up a framed picture of Jenny. Running his fingers on the cool glass he smiled. Jenny would always be his mother but Joyce was his mom and no matter how much he wanted Buffy, he couldn't betray Joyce's trust.

William was broken from his thoughts at the sound of someone clearing their throat. Turning, he saw Buffy standing in his doorway still wearing a bikini, but thankfully she had put on a pair of black shorts. bi_**"If you could really call them shorts**__**.**__**"/i/b**_ He couldn't help but think, bi_**"They look more like a pair of undies they're so short**__**.**__**"/i/b**_ He groaned inwardly that the sight. Her long golden curls spilled around her shoulders in waves, her skin was tan and slightly pink from lying in the sun. Breasts round and firm barely covered by her bikini top, stomach flat and taunt, she was a vision, his golden goddess.

"You thinking about Jenny?" Buffy asked moving into the room. William looked down at the photo in his hand and nodded, placing it back on his dresser.

"Yeah" he smiled at Buffy.

"She was beautiful."

"Yes she was." He sighed, moving away from her hoping to put some space between them. "So what can I do for you luv?" He asked, moving the boxes off his bed and trying his best to look busy.

"The girls and I are going to the mall to look for a dress. Just thought I would come up here and let you know, perv." At her last word his head snapped up.

"P..perv?" He asked, praying to whatever god was out there that she hadn't seen him watching her.

"Relax Will I don't think the girls noticed, but you keep staring at Cordy like that she's going to start following you around again thinking you're in love with her." She giggled, moving closer to him. He began to relax immediately at her words.

"I was never in love with Cordy, and I have asked you repeatedly to call me Spike."

"Yeah whatever." she laughed. "Like I'm ever going to call you that… Spike you do know that's a dog's name right?" She asked, trying to look serious.

"Oi! Not a dog's name! And please do me a favor and just call me Spike, it's part of the whole band thing."

"Fine, whatever Spike." She couldn't stop laughing.

"Wanna let me in on the joke luv?"

"Spike. It just sounds so funny." She continued to laugh and he couldn't help but laugh with her, he couldn't help but think how stunning she looked when she smiled.

"And as for Cordy; she thinks everyone is in love with her." Spike pointed out.

"Well in all fairness you did kiss her at that party a few months back." Buffy pointed out, wanting to give him a hard time. Truth was, she hated thinking about Spike kissing Cordy. She felt jealousy burn through her anytime she thought of it. It was stupid, he was her brother but she had felt like this for four years and try as she might the feelings never seemed to go away.

"For starters it was one kiss, only one time after way too much to drink and I might add she kissed me first."

"But you kissed her back." She replied. This time she had stopped laughing and actually sounded a little hurt. Spike put it down to the fact that he had made out with one of her best friends.

"I told you already that it was a mistake Buffy and that I was sorry." He replied, moving to her and holding her tight. The second he felt her pressed against him he knew it was a mistake. His body started to respond almost instantly to being so close to her, he just hoped she didn't notice. Buffy pulled back just enough to look up at him.

"I know it's cool, I just wanted to tease you." she smiled softly.

"You shouldn't tease me Buffy." He hadn't meant for his words to come out so husky, his voice made heat burn through her, making her checks flush and her palms sweat.

Spike knew he should turn away, put some space between them, but he was rooted to the spot, trapped in her emerald green eyes, and before he could stop himself his lips were moving towards hers.

Buffy watched as his eyes went from the usual bright blue to a stormy color. She had been looking at his lips and when she saw him begin to move closer to her, sherheart rate sped up so fast she thought it might pound through her chest. Slowly she let her eyes flutter closed. She could feel his hot breath on her face, he was so close…

"Buffy what is taking so long?" The screech of Cordy's voice broke the silence as Buffy and Spike all but jumped across the room from each other just in time to see Cordy and Willow come into view. "Hey Spike." Cordy smiled seductively at him.

"Cordy, Red." He nodded.

"Hi." Willow smiled shyly.

"We should go." Buffy said quickly. "See you later Spike." Not bothering to turn and look at him, she dragged her two friends downstairs and out of the house.

Spike stood frozen in the same spot unable to move. It had almost happened, the thing he had been fighting against for the past two years, the very reason he was moving out. He had almost caved, almost given into all his wants and desires. He had almost kissed her.

Then it accurred to him: Buffy had closed her eyes, did that mean she wanted to kiss him too? Shaking his head he decided it didn't matter. Even if she did, it was still wrong. They were brother and sister. He knew Buffy would never see him as anything more than her big brother and she shouldn't, he was after all her brother. Guilt washed over him in waves and then a smile featured his face.

Buffy had finally called him Spike.


	2. Sticky situations

_i__Chapter two_/i

_i__Sticky situations.__/i_

It had been two days since the _ib"__**almost"**__/b/i_ kiss and Spike was desperately trying to forget about it. He had mostly been able to avoid Buffy, between band practices, gigs every other night and preparing for college, he had only seen her a few times and only for a few minutes at a time. Buffy had, on the other hand, been acting completely normal as if nothing had happened. This had just about confirmed for him that she had no intention of kissing him that day like he had at first thought and that had made him want to avoid her even more.

But he couldn't avoid her now. His parents had asked to speak with them both and as much as he had tried to talk his way out of it they had insisted that it was important. This had him worried. What if they knew? What if they had finally started noticing the way he looked at Buffy? Had they seen the "almost kiss"? b**"No"**/b, he reminded himself, b**"they were both at work"**/b. Taking a deep breath he walked into the lounge room where they were all sitting, clearly waiting for him.

"Ah, William, good. Now we can start." Giles smiled up at him. Spike nodded, taking a deep breath and took a seat next to Buffy, so they were both facing their parents.

"As you both know it's only two weeks till William moves closer to the college campus…" Giles started, only to be cut off by a slightly annoyed Buffy.

"I personally don't know why he has to move. It's not like that college is miles away, it's like right around the corner."

"Regardless, this is William's decision and we should respect that."

"Whatever." Buffy huffed crossing her arms across her chest.

"As I was saying, with only two weeks left before you move out William, and two more years before you graduate high school Buffy, your mother and I have decided that while you're still here and able to watch your sister…" Giles found himself cut off one again.

"I can still help out with Buffy. As she said, it's not like I'm far away." Spike wanted to kick himself, he was moving out to get away from Buffy and his feelings for her and now he was offering to watch her when their parents were out and about.

"I don't need a sitter, God, it's not like I'm five years old anymore. I turn seventeen in like a month." Buffy snapped.

"Would you two please let your father finish or we'll be here all day." Joyce laughed softly.

"As I was saying again, while you're here for the next two weeks, Joyce and I have decided to go on a honeymoon."

"Honeymoon? Didn't you do that when you guys got married like sixteen years ago?" Buffy asked a little confused.

"No we didn't. You see sweetie, William was only a toddler and you were still a newborn and we just didn't feel right leaving you both with family at such a young age, so we decided to wait until you were both older and able to look after yourselves." Joyce explained.

"So if we can b**both**/b look after ourselves, why are you leaving Spike to babysit me?" Spike looked at Buffy, surprised. That was the second time Buffy had called him Spike and he had to admit he liked it a little too much.

"Buffy, you're only sixteen years old…"

"I'm seventeen in a month." she corrected her mother

"Regardless, I'm not leaving you home alone for two weeks." Buffy knew by her mother's tone of voice that she wasn't going to win and decided to let the matter go. Spike felt panic grip him, it just occurred to him that he would be alone for two full and very long weeks with the object of his every desire and fantasy.

He had spend the past couple of days avoiding her because he had almost kissed her once and now he knew that with his parents gone and relying on him to watch over Buffy, he couldn't avoid her any longer. There would be nights where if he wasn't working, he would have to be home with her, both long days and nights with nothing to do but spend time with her.

As much as he wanted his parents to have the honeymoon they so completely deserved, there was no way he could spend two weeks alone with Buffy, without doing something that would land him into a world of trouble. He had to stop them from going.

"I can't be here 24/7 to look after Buffy, I have practice and gigs. Some are in L.A and I can't cancel them now."

"And we're not asking you to, William. When you're away nights for work, I'm sure Buffy can invite one of her friends over for the evening to stay with her and we definitely don't expect you to stay home with Buffy during the day. Besides, with Buffy on school holidays I'm sure she will be so busy going shopping and to the beach with her friends that you will hardly see her." Giles explained to him.

"So I can still go out with my friends?"

"Of course, Buffy." Giles smiled

"What about to the Bronze or to parties at Cordy's place?"

"As long as you tell William first and are home by your curfew, I don't see why not." Joyce agreed. Buffy nodded reluctantly.

"I guess that's cool then." Buffy agreed.

"Excellent, it's settled then." Giles smiled, standing with Joyce at his side. Spike looked up at them, trying to think of any reason to stop them from leaving, but when he saw their happy, smiling faces he knew he was done for.

There was no way he could stop them, it simply wasn't fair of him. He would just have to control his feelings and pray that Buffy spent most of her time away from the house with her friends.

"We have written down the numbers where you can contact us and the ship number."

"Ship number?" Spike asked, standing next to Buffy.

"Yes, your father is taking me on a cruise ship. I've always wanted to go on one." Joyce beamed. Spike simply smiled, he was glad to see her so excited. She deserved the honeymoon she'd always wanted.

"We leave tomorrow morning." Giles informed them, following Joyce out of the room and up the stairs to pack. It must have taken that last bit of information a few seconds for it to truly sink in for both Buffy and Spike, because by the time their heads snapped up in shock their parents had already disappeared into their room.


	3. Two weeks in hell

i_Chapter 3_/i

i_Two weeks in hell._/i

Spike watched in disbelief as his parents hopped into a cab; he couldn't believe it, they were really leaving. There was no way to stop it; he would be stuck with Buffy for a full two weeks with nothing like school to keep them apart for most of the time. In fact, their parents had asked him specifically to keep a close eye on Buffy, watch over her.

Spike sighed at the thought. As both Buffy and him waved goodbye to their parents he reassured himself everything would be okay, he had controlled his feelings and desires for years now damn it! What was two more weeks?

"So what are your plans for today brat?" he asked trying to keep things light as he closed the front door.

"Well if it's cool with you, I might call Cordy and Willow up, see if they want to hit the beach," she smiled hopefully.

"Go for it, I got the guys coming over soon for practice anyway."

"You guys playing at the Bronze tonight?"

"That we are."

"Well, I might see if the girls want to go there tonight."

"What? Why?" Spike had been hoping to have the whole night away from her. The more time they spent apart, the better.

"Cause, it's like the only club in town and didn't mom and dad say when you had gigs I had to hang with the girls?" she asked raising her eyebrow at him confused.

"Well yeah but I think they meant hang here or at one of you mates place."

"Look, mom said I can keep doing things I normally would with them here. If that's not the case I might as well call them back now." She snapped in a huff crossing her arms over her chest. He was almost tempted to let her but he knew he couldn't ruin his parents honeymoon.

"No, it's fine you can go to the Bronze but I don't finish till 2am so I want you home by your normal midnight curfew."

"Yes, dad." Buffy giggled placing a quick kiss on his check she ran up stairs to get dressed for the beach. Spike felt a little sick at hearing the word dad coming from Buffy directed at him, he knew she was just being playful but he still made him feel like a dirty old man. Sighing, he moved into the garage to get ready for band practice.

Buffy walked into her room closing the bedroom door behind her. How was she going to do this? Two weeks, two full very long weeks alone with Spike. No school keeping them busy, no parents as a constant reminder that how she felt for him and the things she definitely wanted to do with and to him were very wrong.

She leaned against the bedroom door taking a deep, much needed breath trying to calm herself. Wait…. Why was she so worried? Its not like Spike felt the same way for her, true, she had thought for a moment that Spike was going to kiss her the other day in his room but after a moment of rational thought she figured he was going in for his usual brotherly kiss on the forehead.

She knew she was kidding herself, she had seen the women Spike had dated. Each and every one drop dead gorgeous, ib_**brain dead but still gorgeous**_/b/i, she couldn't help but think to herself. What could he possibly see in her? Not to mention that they where brother and sister and the whole thing was so very wrong and that was the main reason she knew Spike would never want her that way.

Sighing, she pushed off the bedroom door moving to her bedside table. She picked up her cellphone calling first Willow then Cordy. After a short conversation with both they had agreed to spend the day at the beach. Cordy had agreed to pick them up in ten minutes.

Slipping into her black bikini she wrapped a short red shawl around her waist. Unclasping her hair, she let it fall around her shoulders. Picking up her beach bag she moved into the bathroom filling it with the necessities like tanning lotion, towel, etc.

It wasn't long before she heard Cordy pull up, blowing her car horn. Slinging her bag over her shoulders she ran downstairs to see Xander, Angel, Oz, Wesley and of course Spike standing in the lounge room. Spike turned around and instantly wished he hadn't, getting an eye full of what looked like a half naked Buffy.

"Buffy, would you put your bloody clothes on," he hissed, walking over to her.

"I'm going to the beach Spike what else would you have me wear?" she giggled

"If I had it my way a bloody full body snow coat," he muttered. Buffy couldn't help but laugh.

"I love it when you get all protective," she smiled squeezing his check, "It's so cute."

"Yeah, yeah, just get out of here,"

"Yes sir… I'll see you guys tonight." She waved over his shoulder to the rest of his band before darting out the front door. Spike took a second to calm himself before turning back around to face his mates.

"Dude, that sister of yours is smoking hot." Xander smiled.

"Don't even think about it, Whelp. Buffy is a no go zone, got it?" he snapped

"Yeah, no, totally. Besides, I got my eye on that Anya chick that works at the Bronze."

"Whatever, let's just practice," Spike replied, as they all filed past him and out to the garage. Spike waited a moment longer trying to calm his anger. It was stupid to get so angry every time a guy looked Buffy's way. She was beautiful and she had dated before and he had dealt with it, mostly by locking himself away in his room whenever a date would show up so he didn't rip the little ponces head off.

He knew then and there that the next two weeks were going to be pure hell. Sighing, he walked towards the garage to start band practice.


	4. Blurring the lines

i_Chapter 4_/i

i_Blurring the lines_/i

Spike and his band had been at the Bronze for the past hour and he had yet to see Buffy in the crowd, but the place was packed tonight so she could very well have arrived already. Usually when he played at the Bronze, Buffy would come up to the stage to let him know she was there, as he always reserved a table for her and her mates and to be honest he was worried that she hadn't arrived yet.

He hadn't seen or heard from her since she had left with her friends to go to the beach and while he was happy to have some distance between them, it didn't stop him from worrying about her. If he was to be completely honest with himself, he hated it when she came here.

He saw the way guys would look at her. How they tried to slip up close when she danced, not that he could blame them. The only thing that got him harder then seeing Buffy walking around in her bikini was seeing Buffy dance. She moved like liquid sex and the worst part is, she was totally clueless to the effect she had on guys.

As if on cue, he looked up to see her walk in with Cordy and Willow and almost choked on the word he was singing. b**"What in the bleeding hell is she wearing?"**/b His mind screamed at the sight of her.

She wore a black leather skirt, a blood red singlet, knee high boots and, b**"thankfully"**/b he thought, a black leather jacket. b**"At least she left something to the bloody imagination."**/b He may as well have swallowed his words when she slipped the jacket off, dumping it on a table he had kept reserved for her and her friends.

For the next two hours Spike spent most of his time desperately trying not to look at Buffy. She hadn't moved from her table, spending the majority of the time talking and giggling with her friends. Guys had come to them, of course, trying to talk to them but they had thankfully blown them off.

Although while grateful, Spike didn't understand why. Buffy, Cordy and Willow were all beautiful girls and none of them were dating anyone, so he couldn't help but wonder why they were so quick to turn every guy down.

Buffy was getting annoyed. Spike hadn't looked at her once. She had worn her sexist outfit in a bid to get his attention. She knew it was wrong, he was her brother and she was only sixteen, b**"Almost seventeen,"**/b her mind corrected her, but she couldn't help it.

She knew he would be here tonight, on stage where he could see her at all times and as if on autopilot she started to dress to please him. Black leather and blood red, his two favorite things to see a woman wearing and she knew it.

That's why she was so surprised he hadn't shown her even a second of attention. Usually they would have taken a break by now, he would come over with the band and say hi to them. That was always a highlight when they performed here. Not only did it have all the other girls in the club shooting hateful daggers at them, but Willow got to flirt with Oz who she had a huge thing for and now that Cordy's crush for Spike was pretty much over, her affections had started to lean towards Angel.

But it seemed tonight they were not going to take any breaks, at least not anytime soon. It was almost like Spike was intentionally avoiding her, hell he wouldn't even look at her for more than a few seconds at a time and it was really starting to annoy her.

Deciding she had had enough of being ignored, she grabbed Willow and Cordy and dragged them onto the dance floor. Making sure to be right in the center, so the band had a good view of them. She would make him pay attention to her if it was the last thing she did.

i_Are we done for now,__or is this for good,__will there be something in time?__With us there should. Only girl for me is you__There can be no other one__if I didn't have faith.__I would come undone._/i

Buffy swayed her hips to the beat. The song wasn't fast but it wasn't slow either. It was just right for her to do her bi_**sexy dance**_/i/b as she called it. Lifting her arms up she pushed her head back slightly, golden curls falling from around her face down her back, exposing her neck and cleavage to anyone who was watching.

i_So much promise in your eyes,__seems that I can only see__. __It always makes me wonder__, __if you save it all for me__. __Maybe you do__,__ maybe you don't__, __maybe you should__,__ probably won't..._/i

Spike couldn't take his eyes off her as he continued to sing. She was moving as if the dance floor was made just for her. Guys were starting to form around the three women but they seemed to be oblivious to it or the effect they were having on the men in the club.

i_Because there will be...__There will be other guys__, __who will whisper in your ear__; __say they'll take away your sadness__and your fears.__They may be kind and true__. __They may be good to you__but they'll never care for you__more than I do_/i

Spike regretted his decision to look Buffy in the eyes the second she looked up at him. She didn't stop dancing though, sliding her hands down her body, over the swell of her breast, down her taunt tummy to rest on her hips. She licked her lips an action which should have been innocent enough but made Spike skin burn with need.

Was she teasing him on purpose? Trying to torture him? If that was the case then she had succeeded for sure. His mind was screaming at him to turn his eyes away from her, to break eye contact, but as much as he willed himself he just simply couldn't.

i_I'll be always there,__there to the end__. __I can't do much__but be your one true friend.__To the end__, __to the end__. __A life to spend__with each other till the end__of time..._/i

It was his own words that seemed to break the spell between them. A simple line, ib_**A life to spend**____**with each other till the end**____**of time.**_/b/i something he knew they could never have, not really. No one would ever accept them as a couple, not their friends and definitely not their family. He could never give Buffy what she deserves, a normal happy relationship.

Spike looked away from Buffy and she felt her heart break as he looked anywhere but down at her. She had been so into the dance she had almost forgotten where she was. It was like they were the only two people in the room. Her skin had become red hot as moisture pooled between her thighs but now that was all over and all she felt was empty.

i_Still see the promise in your eyes__and still wonder if it's for me__but i know it's still there__even__ when you sleep.__So I say, good night sweet girl_/i

The song ended and the crowd cheered. Announcing they were taking a break the band moved off stage. Spike never looked down at Buffy. Moving back to their table Buffy waited for the band to come out and see them.

It didn't take long for the band to come out and make a bee line straight for their table. Angel and Oz where quick to take seats beside Cordy and Willow while everyone talked.

"Where's Spike?" Buffy asked looking around

"I think he went to the bar" Oz replied

"Might grab a drink myself, you guys want anything?" After a few muttered no's, Buffy headed over to the bar, fixing her hair along the way so it sat in waves around her shoulders. Buffy put a sweet, innocent smile on her face, feeling confident but the sight in front of her made her stop abruptly.

Her whole world shattered in front of her. There was Spike leaning against the bar talking to his ex, Cecily Price. Yuck! She wanted to gag at the sight of Spike rubbing his hand up and down her bare arm.

Cecily was leaning into his touch clearly flirting with him. Buffy couldn't believe it. He had broken up with Cecily two months ago because the tramp had been sleeping with a guy Spike graduated high school with, Parker Abrams. The two guys had never been friends actually they hated each other and when Spike had caught Parker and Cecily together he had broken Parker's nose and dumped Cecily.

So why in the hell was he flirting with her? Spike looked up to see Buffy staring at him and Cecily. He knew it was wrong to be leading Cecily on but he needed something, anything to distract him from Buffy. Looking away from Buffy he leaned in cupping Cecily's check and kissing her.

Cecily didn't pull away in fact she pulled him closer deepening the kiss and by the time they parted he could see Buffy had disappeared into the crowd.

An hour had past and he had barely caught a glimpse of Buffy since seeing her near the bar, he was almost convinced she had gone home until he spotted her talking to some beefy jock from her school.

Cameron was his name if he remembered correctly and he had a reputation as a love them and leave them type. He was also in his final year at Sunnydale High, so definitely older than Buffy.

Spike waited for her to give him the brush off that never came. Instead he was forced to watch as she giggled and flirted with the git. Soon they were on the dance floor together and the sight made Spike want to scratch his own eyes out. Buffy had never been the type to just pick up some random guy at a club but here she was with a bloke that sure she knew from school but he had never seen her say even two words to.

They were dancing, rubbing themselves against each other. Spike watched as Cameron rubbed his hands all over Buffy, occasionally whispering something in her ear which would either lead to her giggling or blushing, either way Spike didn't like it one bit.

When he saw Cameron whisper in her ear again and her nod, he knew something wasn't right. Buffy held Cameron's hand and after stopping at her empty table to grab her jacket, they headed out of the club together.

Spike felt panic grip him, this was not like Buffy at all, quickly finishing the song he announced they were taking a short break and moving quickly through the crowd and out of the club. Spike felt the cold night air hit him as he stepped outside looking around he searched for any sign of Buffy. When he heard soft talking Spike moved fast.

Turning into the ally that ran up the side of the Bronze Spike could see Buffy clearly now. Backed against the ally wall, Cameron seemed to have his hands everywhere at once while kissing down Buffy's neck. She clearly wasn't enjoying herself, if anything she looked disgusted and Spike had to admit the sight in front of him made him sick.

This was so out of character for Buffy and all Spike wanted to do was slap some sense into her. When he saw Cameron's meaty hands moving up her leg to go under her skirt he had decided enough was enough. Moving fast he came up behind Cameron unheard, grabbing the back of his shirt he pulled him away from Buffy.

"She's only bloody sixteen years old" he snapped pushing the guy to the ground "Get gone!" he hissed the look on his face daring the idiot to challenge him but it seemed Cameron knew better, scrambling to his feet he ran out of the ally and disappeared into the darkness.

"Oh my god, embarrass me much?" Buffy hissed at him as he turned to face her.

"No luv, you were doing a pretty good job of that yourself," he went back at her. Stung and hurt by his words, her hand left her side before she had a chance to stop herself, slapping him hard as she glared.

"It's none of your business and for your information; I'm seventeen in like a month." She snapped, storming past him only to be stopped when his hand gripped her arm, pulling her back and slamming her into the wall, not hard enough to hurt her but enough to shock her.

"What the hell is your problem?" She snapped. Spike looked at her face red with anger, skin hot and cock hard he tried to stop himself but before he knew what was happening his lips were smashing down onto hers.

Buffy was stunned but quickly responded, parting her lips she moaned at the feel of his tongue touching hers. It was better than any fantasy either of them had ever had, she felt her skin go hot with lust, moisture pool into her already wet panties as she started to grind herself into his rock hard erection.

She knew it had been a mistake the second she'd done it, because she felt him stiffen under her touch. It was as if in that one action he came crashing back to reality, pulling away from her he stepped back out of her grasp. Running a hand through his curls he struggled to look at her.

"Buffy, I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have done that, it was a ..." he started but she quickly stopped him.

"Don't, don't say it," she sighed shaking her head. Straightening her clothes, she went to move past him again, she needed to get out of there, the thought of hearing him say it was a mistake was too much to bear, but again he stopped her.

"You're only sixteen years old..."

"Almost seventeen."

"And my sister," she looked up hurt; she knew it was true but she wished it wasn't. She knew this was wrong but she still wanted it. "This can never happen again, Buffy," he whispered, more so trying to convince himself than her.

"What if I want it to... happen again... more than just a kiss though," she stuttered, taking a chance but scared to death.

"Don't say that... please I can't hear you say that," he replied pacing.

"Why?" She asked. She clearly had no idea what a loaded question that was. Taking a deep breath he stopped pacing looking up at her.

"Cause then I'll never be able to stop this."

"So don't," she whispered, moving forward to cup his cheek, "would it really be so wrong?" Looking at her he moved back once more.

"You're my sister."

"Half," she corrected.

"What?" he asked slightly confused.

"I'm your half sister."

"You're still my bloody sister Buffy, you're still my blood and we still share the same bloody father." He growled, stalking towards her until she was backed up against the wall again, his body pressed up against hers.

He felt his body tremble at being so close to her again and felt his resolve start to waver. Cupping her cheek, he moved in again but as he saw her eyes flutter, surrendering to him so easily, he stopped. Closing his eyes, he gritted his teeth, fighting for control.

"Go home, Buffy," he snapped, opening his eyes.

"What?" she asked, stunned.

"Go bloody home!" He yelled, pushing away from her. Hurt and heartbroken she pushed past him, stopping but not bothering to look back at him.

"Go to hell, Spike." She hissed, before running out of the ally and all the way home with tears in her eyes. Going inside, she ran up to her room, slamming the door behind her where she collapsed on her bed, sobbing.


	5. Crossing the line

i_Chapter 5_/i

i_Crossing the line_/i

Spike quietly opened the front door; the house was completely dark and he assumed Buffy was already asleep. It was well after two in the morning as he crept up the stairs and headed for his room. He noticed that Buffy's bedroom door was ajar and peeked his head inside to check on her.

After the events of that night, everything inside him wanted to avoid her but he also wanted to make sure she was safe and sound. Slipping into her room quietly so as not to wake her, he stood beside her bed.

She was asleep but he could tell just by looking at her that she had spent the rest of her night crying. The outline of her eyes were red and puffy, just covered by a cotton sheet she looked so small and fragile.

He felt his heart clinch as guilt flooded through him. He had done this to her and a part of him hated himself for his weakness. Vowing to make things right with her tomorrow, he lifted the sheet up to cover her small frame. Gently moving a few strands of hair from her face, he left a feather light kiss on her forehead.

"Goodnight, pet," he whispered, before turning and leaving her room to go to his own.

Buffy awoke the next morning to the smell of pancakes, slipping out from under her covers, she quietly made her way down the stairs.

Standing near the kitchen entrance she could see Spike cooking pancakes and wondered if it would be better to return to her room and hide out there for the day, until Spike left but she knew it would do her no good. Spike was the type that if you hid he would simply hunt her down so she may as well bite the bullet, try to convince him that she wasn't totally crazy and that the events of the night before were a mistake, even though she truly believed they were not. She didn't want to lose Spike.

"Morning," she announced her presence, trying to sound cheerful and confident but her greeting came out quiet and reserved. Spike turned around, smiling.

"Morning luv, sleep well?"

"I guess," she smiled, slipping onto the stool at the kitchen island.

"Pancakes?"

"Funny shapes?" she enquired, straining to look in the frying pan.

"Always," he smiled, placing a full plate in front of her with a glass of freshly squeezed orange juice.

"Thanks," she replied, pouring a generous amount of syrup on top. After serving up his own plate he joined her at the island, sitting across from her. After a few bites he decided to bring up the events of last night.

"Buffy, I wanted to apologise for last night, I had no right to go off the way I did."

"No. you were right to do it, I was acting stupid with Cameron. I don't know what came over me."

"Buffy, you're sixteen years old, this is the age where you make mistakes, it's pretty much expected. You just have to be careful not to let things get too far." This hit her like a ton of bricks but she fought to control her emotions. She knew he was no longer talking about what happened with Cameron but what had happened between the two of them.

"Like what happened between us?" She asked nervously. She knew it had to come up, to be talked about so now was a better time than ever.

"Yeah like that... listen, Buffy..." she was quick to cut him off desperately not wanting to hear how he thought it was a mistake and he could never feel anything for her, other than brotherly love.

"Don't even sweat it, I know as well as you do that it can never happen again. It was a mistake. You're my brother and I don't want to lose you," she smiled. _**"It was a mistake" **_those four simple words shattered his world, he knew she was right, he also knew he was going to say the same thing to her but somehow, hearing it from her own mouth felt so gut wrenching.

"You'll never lose me Buffy, you're my sister and one of the most important people in my life, you know that right?"

"Of course... anyway enough with the seriousness. The girls and I are going to the beach today, then we are going to a party tonight." She informed him, slipping off the stool.

"Buffy," she turned to face him, he was ready to interrogate her, where is this party? Who will be there? What time will you be home? But when he saw her hopeful face he knew it was time to let her grow up "Have fun tonight."

"Always," she replied cheerfully, before bouncing up the stairs to shower and change for the day ahead.

Buffy had spent the day relaxing at the beach with Cordy and Willow, the two girls had asked her repeatedly what was wrong but she had simply replied that she hadn't slept well the night before.

Truth was, after her short talk with Spike this morning, all she had wanted to do was crawl under her covers and cry herself to sleep again. But she had refused to let this bring her down. Walking into the frat house with Cordy and Willow, they moved into the over crowed room after dancing with her friends for a few songs, she moved towards the bar with Cordy.

"Two Tequila sunrise please," Buffy smiled at the bar man, nodding he moved to make their drinks. Buffy noticed Cordy was bouncing around next to her, taking their drinks she turned to pass Cordy hers.

"What has you bouncing all over the place?" Buffy asked, taking a sip of her drink, cringing slightly as the liqueur burned her throat.

"Didn't I tell you?"

"Tell me what?"

"I have a date tonight," she smiled happily.

"Really, who's the lucky guy?"

"Hello ladies," Buffy turned towards the familiar voice, to see Angel smiling at them.

"Hi," she heard Cordy giggle.

"Angel, what are you doing here?"

"He's my date silly," Cordy smiled, looping her arm with Angel's and leading him into the crowd, sighing Buffy sipped her drink. Moving through the house she noticed Willow and Oz on a couch together chatting. Xander and Anya where also chatting on a nearby couch.

Anya and her family were new to Sunnydale, her parents owned a local store called the Magic Box which was becoming quite popular and she knew that Anya was signing up for cheer leading try outs next week, perhaps that would give them a chance to get to know each other.

Moving further into the crowd she could see Wesley and Fred swaying together to a slower paced song. Wesley and Fred had been an item for as long as she could remember and even though Fred was three years older than Buffy they still got along really well.

So that was every one, the whole band bar Spike, at least now Buffy knew how Cordy managed to get an invitation to a college party.

Moving out the front for fresh air Buffy saw Spike leaning into a tree moving closer to say hi she stopped when she noticed he wasn't leaning into the tree but was leaning into a girl who was pressed up ageist the tree.

She was pretty Buffy had to admit but so was all the girls Spike dated. Long blonde hair, big chest and small waist it was classic Spike just looking at her too Buffy knew she was a bimbo, the irritating giggle all but screamed it.

Buffy couldn't watch any more, turning around she moved back into the frat house and headed straight for the bar for another top up.

b**Two hours later**/b

Willow couldn't believe what she was seeing. Buffy, her best friend usually quiet and some what shy, was on the designated area for dancing surrounded by a group of guys. Buffy worked her way around them dancing with them all at some stage. Willow could see some of the guys were getting a bit grabby and moved to help her friend.

"Ah Buffy, maybe it's time we left," Willow said, grabbing her friends arm.

"Hey look it's Willow, it's my Willow shaped friend," Buffy slurred, wrapping her arms around her friend giving her a tight hug.

"Are you drunk?" Willow asked, stunned. It wasn't like Buffy to get drunk sure she would have one or two at a party, they all would but it was never enough to get them drunk.

"Just a little," Buffy giggled

"Come on Buffy, time to go home," Cordy said, moving to help Willow. Each moving on either side of Buffy they put her arm over their shoulder to help support her, they moved outside to head for Cordy's car only to run into Spike.

"Crap!" They both thought looking at each other.

"What the hell is going on?" Spike asked, moving himself from Harmony's grasp.

"Spikey?" she whined.

"Um, you see... Buffy just had a little to much sun today," Cordy smiled trying to cover and failing miserably.

"Hi Spikey," Buffy giggled, dropping into Spike's arms, "And I thought the nick name Spike was bad, I stand corrected Spikey is much worse"

"Spikey, say something, you're not just going to let her talk to me like that, are you? Who is the girl anyway?"

"Oh shut up, you brainless twit," he snapped at Harmony, who huffed at him before storming away, "Buffy are you drunk?"

"Oh course not, I will never get drunked," she giggled again.

"Right, time to take you home, luv," he informed her, shaking his head as he moved to take her from her friends supporting her weight in his shoulders.

"Take me home, huh," she whispered seductively into his ear just loud enough for him to hear. He felt himself respond to her suggestion instantly and fought to shake off the stirring hormones inside him, there was no way he could take advantage of Buffy like this, no matter how badly he wanted her, ib_**"And besides its wrong you git, she's you kid sis"/b/i **_he reminded himself yet again, a part of him felt like all he did was remind himself of that fact.

"To sleep,"

"Oh, but I'm not sleepy," she told him as they approached his car, "I'm horny," she informed him grabbing his duster and slamming him against his car.

Where had her sudden strength come from? He couldn't help but wonder, not even five seconds ago she had barely been able to stand now she had him pinned to his car before he could even blink.

"B-Buffy... what are you doing?" he asked, a slight stutter in his voice

"Shut up Spike, stop talking so much, better yet stop thinking so much... just feel," she whispered into his ear, hot breath on his neck, her hot little body pushed up against him.

He thanked who ever was out there that he had gotten the crappy park around the corner from the party that was near an empty lot and playground cause he knew he should move her away but he couldn't seem to bring himself to do it.

"Buffy we can't do this, you know that," he replied, breathing heavy. He wasn't sure when his hands started caressing her hip but some how they were.

"STOP being so William," she snapped. He looked up shocked at this and a little annoyed. William had been a dough eyed poof who couldn't get a girl to look at him to save his life but that was years ago now.

Drusilla had found him freshman year and turned his life around, he had gone from William to Spike over night and even though Dru hadn't been the one he had been thankful for her in his life, she had turned it all around for him and he had never looked back since. He looked down at her teeth gritted, jaw clenched, face red with anger.

"That's right, I said it and I meant it too. Stop being that shy, unsure William and be Spike." He was so transfixed on her red plump lips and so annoyed at her words, that he failed to notice she was unzipping his jeans until it was far too late.

Unzipping his pants she smiled in satisfaction when she felt his manhood fall into the palm of her hand, stroking him up and down she loved the look of pleasure on his face. Cheeks red, eyes hazy and rolling back into his head and his moan made her feel a little better about how she had tormented him about his William days.

It was unfair she knew, but she also knew it would tick him off and that's what she needed, him angry full of raw, hot emotions. She knew if she didn't he would keep reminding himself they where siblings and of course that she had been drinking, of course she hadn't been as drunk as she was putting on, the second she had hit the cold air outside the party she had sobered up a lot and when she had seen that skank Harmony all draped over him as she was leaving she knew she had to take what was hers and he was hers.

Looking at his face she could see he was lost in her touch and felt feminine pride flood through her giving her the confidence to do what she did next. Quickly dropping to her knees in front of him, she didn't give him time to protest as she wrapped her wet lips around his cock.

Spike wanted to stop her, to tell her again the million reasons why this couldn't happen but when he felt her lips around his aching erection all and any reservations he had flew right out the window. Her mouth was so hot and wet, sucking him into her mouth.

Hollowing out her checks she bobbed her head up and down his large shaft. She couldn't believe it when she saw his size, true she didn't have a lot of comparisons, she was still a virgin and only fooled around with one guy in her time. Owen was so sweet he never stood a chance not when she had her eye on Spike.

One hand held the end of his cock, she brought the other up to cup his balls moving them around her hand. She heard him groan in pleasure and couldn't stop the small smile that formed on her lips. Taking him in even deeper she felt her gag reflexes set in, but she found when she swallowed around his shaft it not only helped her suppress it but seemed to make Spike even more turned on.

"Ah fuck pet, yes, just like that," he moaned, running his hand through her golden hair. Spike wasn't going to last very long it was just all too much. The excitement of getting caught, the fact that it was so forbidden to be doing this with her and the fact that he had spent years dreaming about this moment.

But when he looked down and saw her emerald green eyes looking back at him, her red lips stretched around his throbbing cock, he knew he was going to lose it any moment.

"Buffy, stop, I'm going to cum," he warned, but she didn't stop, if anything she picked up the pace, bobbing her head up and down faster than before. She felt his ball tighten in her hand, taking him in even deeper she swallowed around him one last time, sending him flying over the edge.

"Oh fuck, Buffy," he groaned her name loudly into the quiet night. She felt his salty load flood her mouth as she started to swallow him all down, she had never taste a man's cum before and was surprised to find she liked it. Licking his now softened shaft clean, she tucked him back into his pants before standing up to face him.

"Hhhhmmm, Spike taste," she hummed, licking her lips, he groaned inward at the sight and moved forward running his hands through her hair, he cupped her cheeks placing a soft kiss on her lips tasting himself on her.

"Luv, you're amazing," he said, looking down at her.

"So it was okay?" She asked shyly.

"Are you kidding? It was bloody amazing... but Buffy..." he started. She stepped forward, quickly placing a finger to his lips to silence him.

"No, no buts please, can we just leave the buts till tomorrow and just enjoy what is happening now?" She all but begged. He smirked down at her spinning them around pushing her into the the car moving into kiss her again, but the sound of people talking and giggling made him step back. Moments later Cordy and Angel rounded the corner.

"Buffy, I thought Spike took you home," she said, looking at her questioningly.

"Buffy wasn't feeling well so we have been sitting here talking till she felt well enough to travel," Spike quickly covered.

"I'm not surprised with how much you drank, Buffy," Cordy giggled, she had obviously had a few herself.

"Yeah, my bad... well, we better head home. I'll see you tomorrow Cordy, night Angel," they all said their goodbyes, piling into their cars, the trip was made in silence. Spike wondered if they should talk about what had happened but when they pulled up home he saw that she was asleep and decided she was right **"But" **could wait until tomorrow.


	6. Finding Faith

i_Chapter 6_/i

i_Finding Faith_/i

Buffy slowly started to stir under her covers, the sun was peeking through her curtains just enough to annoy her. She sat up with a groan, her head was pounding and she felt like she had cotton wool in her mouth. She swore from this moment on that she would never touch another alcoholic beverage again.

The events of the night before suddenly came flooding back. She remembered seeing Spike with that shank Harmony and getting overwhelmed with jealousy, she had then proceeded to drown her sorrows at the bar before hitting the dancing floor.

Not long after that, Willow had dragged her off, probably not a bad thing considering the amount she'd had to drink and the amount of guys around her who were getting a little too grabby. Then, of course, Spike had spotted them leaving and insisted he take her home.

Straining her mind, she tried to remember the walk to the car or the trip home and after a few moments it hit her like a ton of bricks. She had pushed her brother against his car and proceeded to give him one hell of a blowjob.

_**ib"Oh my god!"/b/i**_her mind screamed at her but then she realised he had let her, after a few short lived protests he had caved and enjoyed everything she had done to him. That made her feel a little better, maybe now they can really talk and maybe try and make things work between them, she knew her parents would be angry but maybe with time they would understand... she hoped.

Swinging her legs over the bed she decided to shower and change before heading down stairs. She found Spike in the kitchen again, this time reading the paper and drinking coffee.

"Morning." She spook shyly. He looked up, clearly nervous she could see it in his eyes and braced herself for the morning b**"but"/b **conversation**.**

"Morning pet, how are you feeling?"

"I've felt better, That's for sure. Drinking and Buffy are clearly unmixy things" She laughed softly, pulling up a stool across from him. He passed her two aspirin and a glass of juice which she eagerly took. "Thanks"

"So, you want to explain why you got plastered last night?"

"It was stupid. I don't remember drinking that much, I only had three of those Tequila sunrises"

"Yeah at a frat party! Half the bloody drink was probably tequila."

"Now that I think of it, it did taste pretty strong," She cringed just thinking about it.

"Buffy, this is worrying me," she looked down worried. She thought for sure he was talking about what had happened between them so his next words shocked her. "This just isn't like you Buffy, first I find you in an ally with a guy you hardly know and then last night you get totally wasted, I know I said yesterday that this was the age for mistakes but I think you're taking it a little too far."

"What?" She asked stunned.

"Buffy, I don't want to have to call mum and dad but if this behaviour keeps up, I will." He said, sternly looking at her. She felt rage boil inside her, how dare he do this.

"What a joke!" She spat standing from her chair and storming out of the kitchen. She only got as far as the staircase before he grasped her arm and forced her to face him.

"I'm serious, Buffy."

"No, you're a joke; this whole conversation is a joke! You really want to play the big brother card? You didn't mind my b**behaviour**/b last night, when I was sucking your cock!" She yelled.

"Would you keep your voice down, we do have neighbours and I would rather this didn't spread through town" He hissed, pulling her arm from his grasp she looked at him with fire in her eyes.

"Right because I'm just your dirty little secret, covenant when you have an itch that needs scratching?"

"Stop it! It wasn't like that." He yelled, taking a much needed deep breath he tried to control his temper before continuing, "But it was a mistake and it shouldn't have happened" He told her speaking more calmly.

"Screw you," she hissed, moving up the stairs. "You know what, forget this whole thing. I can't believe I was so stupid, I thought I saw something in you, something good... I was very wrong," she whispered.

"Buffy..."

"I'll stay out of your way from now on," she replied, before running up the stairs and retreating into her bedroom slamming the door behind her.

Spike felt like his insides were all twisted up in knots. How had he made such a mess of things? Why had he crossed that line last night? Why had he been so weak? He had thought this morning that the best approach was to act like nothing had happened, like nothing had changed, but something b**had/b **happened and everything b**had/b **changed, he knew that now.

Buffy slammed her door hard enough that the wall shook under the force of it. She felt so stupid; she leaned against the door fighting the tears that were building in her eyes. No longer able to hold it in, she slid down the door cupping her knees to her chest as she sobbed.

She couldn't do this. She couldn't spend the next week and a half with him. Standing up she moved across her room, picking up the phone she dialled the first person she thought of.

"Hello" She heard the familiar voice say.

"Faith, I need a favour," she sobbed quietly.

It had been two days, two very long days since his fight with Buffy and he couldn't possibly feel any lower. He should have known better then to try and pretend nothing had happened between them that night, to try and suddenly play the big brother roll.

He had called all her friends and gone to all her usual hang outs but no one had seen or heard from her and as much as he didn't want to worry their parents he knew he had no choice, picking up the phone he dialled one of the contact numbers their parents had left for them.

"Hello" He heard his father's voice.

"Hey dad, how goes the honeymoon?" he asked trying to sound worried

"Oh William, its going very well, Joyce and I are having a lovely time together"

"I'm glad," he cringed, he hated that he was going to be the one to ruin their holiday "Listen dad, I haven't heard from Buffy in a couple of days and... well I'm starting to worry,"

"Well Joyce spoke with her just an hour ago"

"What?" Spike asked stunned.

"Yes, she called two days ago asking if it would be okay for her to go visit with her cousin Faith in L.A"

"Faith... that's Joyce's sister Nikki's daughter, right?"

"That's right. Faith moved to L.A just a few months ago and Buffy has been wanting to visit for a while, she caught the bus there, she said she left you a note"

"Well, I haven't seen any note," Spike hissed annoyed.

"She said she left it on her bed but not to worry when she called hour ago, it was to tell Joyce she would be returning home this evening"

"Oh ok well I guess I'll see her then,"

"Did you two have a falling out?" Giles asked concerned.

"Why do you ask?"

"Well, Joyce got the feeling Buffy was upset when she called and I must say, you sound a little out of sorts yourself,"

"No dad, we're fine... just getting to each other, I think," Spike lied, "Don't worry, you guys just enjoy your break and we'll see you when you get back."

"Very well, but remember we are only a phone call away"

"Thanks dad, bye."

"Bye." Spike sighed hanging up. Moving upstairs he walked into Buffy's room. Sure enough there was a note at the end of her bed. Picking it up he begun to read.

i_Spike_/i

i_I have gone to see Faith in L.A, already cleared it with mum and dad./i_

i_Buffy_/i

i_P.S Don't follow me_/i

How well did she know him? True, had he found this note earlier the first thing he would want to do is follow her to L.A and try to make things right between them, but he knew there was no point now. No, she would be home this afternoon, hopefully before he left for his gig at the Bronze.

Buffy stood outside the front of her house looking at the door; she knew Spike was inside cause she could hear his music playing. She had wanted to stay with Faith till her parents returned but Faith wouldn't let her, not after she found out why she was there.

b**Flashback**/b

i_Buffy sat on the bed in her cousin's guest room. She had arrived in L.A two hours ago but Faith was still working so she had left a spare key in a hidden spot for her to get in with. Buffy had spent the better part of the last two hours crying, but when she heard Faith return home she fought to dry her tears._/i

i_Hey B, I'm home" she greeted, walking into her room. Faith took one look at Buffy's red swollen eyes and knew the younger girls visit was more than just about her want to spend some time with her cousin._/i

i_So B, you wanna tell me what has go you so heartbroken?" Buffy looked up, shrugging as Faith took a seat on the bed next to her._/i

i_"Nothing. I'm fine, really," she replied, trying to force a fake smile on her face._/i

i_"Yeah sure and I really like guys," Buffy laughed softly at this. Faith had come out about being a lesbian many years ago, she was even dating a young woman named Kennedy for two years now and were now living together in L.A_/i

i_"I think Kennedy will be hurt to hear that," Buffy joked. Faith smiled, glad to see Buffy joking at least._/i

i_"So, guy or girl?"/i_

_i"Guy." Buffy whispered./i_

_i"What's this guy's name?"/i_

_i"I can't tell you... he's... you would be angry with me... you wouldn't understand," Buffy whispered, looking down as she played with the edge of her shirt./i_

_i"Buffy, there is nothing you could do or say that would make me be angry with you... I'm guessing by the way you're reluctant to tell me who it is, I know them and maybe this relationship isn't what you would call conventional?"/i_

_i"Yeah."/i_

_i"Is he older than you?" Buffy nodded "Is that why people wouldn't understand?" Buffy shook her head, still not looking up "Buffy, look at me." She said, forcing her cousin to look her in the eyes. "I'm not going to be mad, I'm not going to think any different or less of you, so please tell me what is going on... you can trust me." Faith smiled. Buffy took a deep breath, deciding she need to take this chance, she couldn't keep it all bottled up any more./i_

_i"It's... it's Spike,"i_

_/i"Spike as in William, your brother?" She asked, a little surprised. Buffy looked away immediately ashamed./i_

_i"You think I'm disgusting." Buffy cried softly, unable to control her tears./i_

_i"No. No Buffy, of course not, I'm just a little surprised," Faith felt like her heart was twisting up in knots. Buffy was like a sister to her, she had defended her when she had b__**"come out"/b **__and while her family was okay with her sexuality now, to start with Buffy had been the only one to stand by her. Now, she had a chance to make things better for Buffy, but she knew she couldn't cross that line, not only would her own mother kill her but so would Joyce. Taking a deep breath, she tried to think of the best thing to say to comfort her./i_

_i"Buffy, we don't choose who we fall in love with, it just happens, I'm proof of that. Sometimes it's just meant to be, it's fate and there is no point in fighting fate, you just have to dance with it...grab hold and enjoy the ride," she said, stroking her hair gently. Buffy looked up./i_

_i"You're not grossed out by me?"/i_

_i"Of course not, you're like a sister to me B and I will love you no matter what... things will work out, I promise... now, I don't mind you hiding here for a couple of days, but you have to face him sooner or later."/i_

_i"I would rather later thanks." Faith laughed softly at this, hugging her cousin close placing a soft kiss on Buffy's forehead. She wished she could do more to comfort her, but she hoped with time things would work out for Buffy and Spike./i_

b**End of flashback**/b

Buffy took a much needed deep breath, she knew she had to face him, even as much as she wanted to avoid him, she knew she couldn't. She loved him and as much as she wanted to be with him it was beyond clear now that he didn't want the same thing. So in a week and two days, their parents would be home and Spike would leave for college, at least then maybe she would move on with her life, maybe then it would be easier without him not always around... she hoped. Picking up her bags she headed inside.


	7. Hot & cold

i_Chapter 7_/i

i_Hot & cold_/i

Buffy took a much needed deep breath, she knew she had to face him, even as much as she wanted to avoid him, she knew she couldn't. She loved him and as much as she wanted to be with him, it was beyond clear now that he didn't want the same thing. So a week and two days, one week and two days their parents would be home and Spike would leave for college at least then maybe she would move on with her life, maybe then it would be easier without him not always around... she hoped. Picking up her bags she headed inside.

Walking through the front door, she shut it quietly behind her hoping that maybe she could retreat to her room without being noticed, but as she started to climb the stairs she knew she was out of luck.

"Buffy." she heard his angry voice behind her. Taking a deep breath she turned to him. "Where the hell have you been?" he bellowed moving up a few stairs so he was standing right in front of her.

"At Faith's, I left a note."

"Yeah on your bed in your bedroom, the one place I wouldn't look for one." he snapped.

"That's not my problem," she replied, turning and moving up the stairs quickly. She made it into her room but as she turned to shut her door, she came face to face with him.

"It is your bloody problem, I have been worried sick. I called all of your friends; I drove around for days trying to find you before I finally called mum and dad."

"I already cleared it with them."

"Yeah so I was told after two days of trying to find you and worrying. For all I knew you were dead in some gutter." he snapped. She couldn't help but feel bad.

"Buffy, you did this to punish me, you knew I would never invade your privacy and go into your room."

"Maybe you're right," she whispered looking up at him, "Maybe I did do it to punish you, maybe I wanted you to feel the pain and uncertainty I have been feeling for almost a week," he sighed, feeling guilt slam into him.

"Buffy..." he whispered.

"Don't, please just don't. You have made your feelings very clear and I just want to forget about everything. Can we just pretend the last week never happened and move on with our lives?" she almost begged.

"Is that what you want?" he asked unsure, he felt sick to his stomach, he knew this was the right course, they could never be together no matter how much he wanted her and after all, he had been the one to push her away.

"Yes."

"Okay then we just forget about it all."

"Good, now if you'll excuse me I have to shower and change, I promised Cordy and Willow I would go to the Bronze with them tonight." He simply nodded, letting her shut her door. He sighed placing his hand on her door.

"I love you so much, all I want is to spend forever with you but I don't deserve you luv... I'm so sorry for causing you pain." He whispered before walking away, Buffy never hearing his admission.

Buffy walked into the Bronze that night with not just Willow and Cordy but also Anya and Fred. Buffy noticed immediately that Spike's band was playing. Stopping for a moment she wondered if it would be better to leave, deciding against it she found a table had been reserved for her and her friends.

Sitting down they ordered a round of coke before hitting the dance floor together. The girls danced and laughed through a few songs before heading back to their table, that is when Buffy was approached.

"Hi, you're Buffy Giles, right?" Buffy turned towards the familiar voice to see Riley, a boy she went to school with. He was on the school football team and fairly popular, but Buffy had never really shown him much interest. Truth was Buffy had only ever had a few boyfriends and they had never lasted long mostly because they were not Spike.

ib_**"No not thinking about that, you guys can never be so it's time to let go of that fantasy and move on"**_/b/i her mind quickly reminded her. Riley was a nice, good looking guy who wasn't in any way related to her so why not give him a chance?

"Yeah, hi Riley" she smiled.

"Would you like to dance?" he asked shyly.

"Sure," she replied taking his hand and slipping from her stool. Moving to the dance floor as if on cue a slow song began to play. Slipping into Riley's arms they swayed slowly together. Buffy had to admit this was nice, even though Riley wasn't really her type it was nice to just relax and enjoy a guys company without any expectations or awkwardness.

Spike continued to sing even though all he wanted to do was jump off stage and rip Riley's head off his shoulders. Riley was a nice enough guy for being as boring as grit. He knew there was no way a guy like that could satisfy a woman like Buffy. He wondered for a moment if Buffy was trying to make him jealous but the fact that she wasn't dancing like she had that night with Cameron and she hadn't looked at him even once made him doubt it.

After the song finished Buffy and Riley headed back to the table. Spike noticed Buffy grabbing her things and saying goodnight to her friends. Announcing a break Spike ran off stage and out the front entrance where he found Buffy laughing at something Riley said.

"Buffy," she turned to face Spike.

"Just give me a second okay," she smiled at Riley who nodded. Buffy walked over to Spike "What's up?"

"Where are you going?" he asked protectively.

"I know what you're thinking and you're wrong. This isn't a repeat of Cameron, I'm not headed for some ally or back to his place, we're just going to the espresso pump for coffee, to get to know each other better." she reassured him.

"Oh, okay," he whispered feeling gutted.

"You working late tonight?"

"Yeah, I won't be home till after two."

"Okay, well I'll see you in the morning," she replied, walking back to Riley

"Who was that?" he heard Riley ask her. Spike wasn't surprised he didn't know him. Spike was older than him and ran with a totally different crowd.

"He's just my brother," she explained. Spike felt like his heart was ripped right out of his chest bi_**He's just my brother"**_/i/b those words would torture him forever.

He knew he had no right to feel this way, jealous, hurt, angry. It all boiled through him threatening to spill out but he knew he had done this, he had pushed her to this. He had spent the past week stringing her along and giving her mix signals. One second he was hot the next he was ice cold.

He had convinced her they could and would never be, that it was wrong... now he just had to convince himself.

Buffy and Riley had spent two hours at the espresso pump getting to know each other over many coffees, she had to admit he was a really nice guy, sweet, funny, kind but still there was something missing... a spark.

There was no spark there for her, while she was sure Riley and her would make great friends in a relationship she just didn't see much or a future but she decided she was young its not like she was looking for her husband to be she was looking to connect with someone and she and Riley had connected on some level.

Riley pulled up out the front of her house, hopping out of his car he moved around to open her door. Buffy smiled at his chivalry ib_**"How sweet"**_/b/i she couldn't help but think, after stepping out of the car Riley shut the door behind her before walking her to her front door.

"I had fun tonight Buffy, it was really great getting to know you a bit better."

"Me too, Riley," she smiled, getting her house keys out of her handbag.

"Buffy, I was wondering if maybe you would have dinner with me on Friday night?" he asked shyly.

"Like a date?" she asked a little unsure.

"Yeah," Buffy paused for a minute, unsure of how to respond. Was it fair to drag this out even though she knew there was no real attraction for her? Just then, for some reason, Spike popped into her head and she knew what she had to do.

"I'd love to," she smiled.

"Great, I'll pick you up at six," he beamed. Leaning forward her placed a sweet kiss on her check before turning to head for his car, waving as he drove off. Buffy headed inside shutting the door with a sigh, she truly hoped she was making the right choice. Maybe, just maybe, the spark she knew was missing would grow with time.


	8. Misunderstood Part 1

_i__Chapter 8__/i_

_i__Misunderstood part 1__/i_

Two days, just two more days, Spike reminded himself. Two more days and their parents would be home, two more days and he could start moving his stuff into his own place that he would share with the band. Two more days and he would be free of this nightmare.

He had to admit he had seen very little of Buffy this past week. She had spent most of her free time with her friends or Riley or b"Captin Cardboard"/b as he liked to call him. Sure the guy came off as nice but something was off with the guy. Spike could feel it and talk about being boring, the guy was about as exciting as watching paint dry.

But Buffy seemed…. Well, not happy, but content, so Spike kept his mouth shut no matter how much the whole situation was ripping his guts out. Looking around the house, Spike knew he would miss this place.

He would miss seeing the happy smiling face of his mother, the way their parents were still clearly in love even after all their years together and of course, he would miss Buffy, god he would miss her but he had to believe that distance was the best thing for them, especially after what had happened between them this past week and a half.

Moving up the stairs and towards his room, Spike intended to get his gear together for their gig tonight at the Bronze but as he passed Buffy's bedroom, muffled groans stopped him in his tracks.

"Buffy," he called out softly, as he approached the closed door. "Are you okay?" He got no response, but what he heard next sent panic burning through him.

"No stop…. I said stop Riley!" He heard Buffy snap angrily. "Riley you're hurting me… I'll scream," she warned him.

"Oh yeah, scream for me baby." He heard Riley sneer. Spike moved fast kicking the locked door with all his might. The handle snapped off the door under the pressure causing the door frame to splinter.

The first thing Spike saw was Riley on top of Buffy, one of his hands were holding her arms above her head while the other roughly grasped her clothed breast. His knees were between her legs forcing them apart.

Spike could see tears in Buffy's eyes as she tried in vain to remove her attacker. Moving across the room Riley had no chance to react to the door being kicked in as Spike grabbed him by the back of the neck, lifting him from Buffy. He threw the meaty jock across the room, slamming him into the wall, clearly knocking the wind from him.

Spike was on him in a second smashing his fists into Riley's face, Spike wasn't sure how many times he had hit the other man before Buffy's screams stopped him. Turning to look at a scared and shaken Buffy Spike turned back to face Riley's bloody, bruised and quickly swollling face.

"You stay the hell away from my sister or I'll track you down and finish the job I started on your face…. You understand me, Finn?" Spike hissed. Riley nodded groggily before Spike pushed him out of the room. "Get out of my house!" He snapped, watching as Riley stumbled down the stairs and out of the house.

"Buffy" Spike whispered, moving over to her. Sitting on the bed, he scooped her up, sitting her on his lap, wrapping his arms around her protectively he rocked her gently, whispering promises into her hair. "You're okay luv, I've got you now, I'll always be here to protect you I promise."

Buffy sobbed into his chest for what seemed like hours but it had barely been five minutes when she looked up at him. Spike moved forward, gently wiping the tears from her checks.

"What happened, pet?"

"We spent the day at the beach and then we came back here for lunch, you were out and I went upstairs to have a shower, wash the sand off, you know?" Buffy sighed, trying her best to explain. "I got dressed in my bathroom and when I came out, I found him in my room, he had shut and locked the door. I said we should go back to the kitchen that mum and dad had a rule about having guys in my room but he just…. ignored me."

"Oh, Buffy,"

"He started to kiss me, but there was something different in his kiss, it was rougher, more…. I don't know, controlling, I guess. I went to move away from him but he pushed me onto the bed, I told him to stop but he wouldn't, he just kept grabbing at me and trying to kiss me, about a minute later you came in…. god, I feel like such a fool," she whispered, looking down, ashamed.

"Buffy, this isn't your fault; he never should have come into your room uninvited, let alone try and force himself on you… that's not a man, pet, that's a cowardly, pathetic little boy."

"I know it's not my fault…. I just meant… Riley seemed so nice, you know nice, normal, sweet… it was all an act though. It seems like every time I feel like I'm getting close to a guy, they turn out to be a jerk," she whispered harshly.

"I'm sorry pet, that I have caused you so much hurt," he whispered, feeling gutted all over again. Buffy's head snapped up looking at him a little shocked before she smiled shyly.

"I didn't mean you, Spike,"

"Oh," they locked eyes and try as they might they couldn't seem to turn away. Spike knew what was going to happen next, he could see it well before it started and even though he knew he should stop it, he decided this time he just couldn't, he wanted her, he loved her and damn it he was going to have her!

Their lips met gently, slowly moving together, neither moved too fast to deepen the kiss but when their tongues met, Buffy couldn't stop the moan that escaped her lips, she felt moisture pool between her thighs as he laid her back gently.

"You can tell me to stop anytime, luv," he whispered, reassuring her, she nodded breathing heavily as he kissed down her neck, unbuttoning her top to expose her braless chest to him.

"Perfect," he breathed, at the vision in front of him. Flicking his tongue across her hardened nipple he couldn't help the smile that formed on his lips at the sound of her moan, arching her back, begging him for more.

He leaned in sucking one rosy nipple into his mouth rolling his tongue around it skillfully for a time before moving to give the other the same treatment. By the time he pulled away, Buffy was moaning loudly, weaving her hand through his blonde curls.

He moved down her body leaving hot kisses in his wake stopping when he reached the top of her jean shorts. Unbuttoning her pants, he moved them over her hips and down her legs, tossing them aside along with her black lacy thong. Looking up at her, he groaned at the sight of the goddess that lay before him.

Her golden locks fell around her face in waves, her cheeks were flushed and her lips were red and swollen from their kisses. Spike's eyes traveled down her body, her nipples were hard and perky, and her stomach was toned and taut. He lowered his eyes to gaze upon her cleanly shaven pussy that glistened with need, she was so wet for him already and they had barely touched each other. Kneeling before her, Spike started to pull her legs open but she couldn't help but shyly close them.

"You're so bloody gorgeous pet, don't hide from me," smiling shyly at his words, she slowly let her legs fall apart, opening herself fully to his gaze. He couldn't stop the groan that escaped his lip.

"You're a goddess," he whispered, his voice thick with lust. Heat flooded through Buffy like wild fire at his words, the anticipation was driving her mad, to be totally honest she had never had a man go down on her before.

Spike felt himself getting harder at the sight of her glistening heat, his jeans were getting tighter by the minute and he was sure his erection would rip through them soon.

Parting her moist folds with his fingers, Spike teased her clit, flicking a finger across it and then moving it to swirl around her opening. Buffy moaned in pleasure, arching her hips off of the bed, bringing herself closer to his face, silently begging him to touch her more. Buffy arched her hips again and Spike took the opportunity to flick his tongue across her clit.

"Oh god," she gasped in surprise. The feeling of his moist tongue on her hot pussy was the most intense thing she had ever felt. Spike smirked at her response and continued sucking and nipping at her tender flesh.

Buffy tossed her head in pleasure, she had never felt anything like this, nothing had ever felt this good, she never knew it could be this good, this intense. She knew she should feel guilty, her brother was licking her pussy like a man starved and she loved it and just couldn't seem to care how wrong it was because in this moment it felt so right.

Buffy couldn't help but look down at him, his blue eye were gazing at her hungrily as he sucked on her clit, she had never seen anything so hot. She felt a new flood of moisture pool between her legs. Buffy could feel herself nearing her orgasm quickly and when she felt Spike thrust two long fingers into her pussy she fell over the edge wailing his name.

"SPIKE!" Clamping down hard around his fingers, he continued to flick his tongue over her spasiming pussy letting her ride out the waves of her orgasm until he felt her legs relax. Pulling away he couldn't stop himself from licking his figers clean loving the taste of her jucies. Moaning around his fingers, Buffy watched feeling herself getting hotter just at the sight before her.

She was about to move forward planning to pull him down onto the bed with her but the sound of the house phone stoped her in her tracks. Spike groaned, annoyed at the interruption but he still moved to pick up the phone beside Buffy's bed.

"What?" He snapped.

"William, really, is that anyway to answer a phone?" He heard his father sigh.

"Sorry dad, what's up?" When Buffy heard Spike say dad she quickly sat up, closing her top to cover her naked chest, slowly doing up her buttons. Spike stood up as his father spoke.

"Joyce and I will be arriving home Saturday evening at around seven, we just thought we should let you and Buffy know."

"Yeah, no problem dad, we'll be here."

"Alright, well, Joyce is trying to run me out the door, we will see you in two days. I hope you kids are behaving." Spike felt guilt hit him.

"Of course we're behaving dad." Buffy cringed moving to slip on her pants quickly buttoning them up, feeling the need to cover herself.

"Love you."

"Love you too dad, bye," he replied, before hanging up. Running his hand through his hair nervously he sighed, turning to face Buffy, seeing her now fully dressed standing on the other side of her bed.

He could still taste her on his lips and more than anything he wanted to finish what they had started but he knew they needed to slow down. He couldn't turn back now he had tasted her and he could never survive if he didn't make her his forever but that said, he knew they needed to take things slowly.

They needed to figure out how and when to tell their parents. What to say to their friends and until they worked out all those very complicated issues, they needed to go slowly and at least for a while keep their relationship a secret.

"Listen Buffy, I think..." that was as far as he got. Buffy's face went red with rage, tears pricked her beautiful green eyes and he watched as everything fell apart.

"DON'T!" She yelled, putting her hand up to stop him. "I don't want to hear it Spike, it will just be the same story different bloody day... stay the hell away from me," she spoke, moving for the bedroom door as fast as her feet would carry her.

"I was wrong," she whispered turning back to face him tears now running down her cheeks "You are one of those jerks!" She snapped, fleeing the house, leaving a stunned Spike behind.

Spike sighed, she had taken him the wrong way, not that he could blame her, all he had done was throw her mixed signals, blowing hot and cold. Moving to his room he knew what he had to do. Picking up his guitar, music paper and a pen be begun to write, now he just had to make sure Buffy was at the Bronze tonight.


	9. Misunderstood Part 2

i_Chapter 9_/i

i_Misunderstood Part 2_/i

Spike couldn't stop pacing back and fourth behind the stage. She still wasn't here yet. Cordy had promised Spike she would make sure Buffy went to the Bronze tonight. She had been confused at first as to why Spike was so insistent that Buffy be at the club, but once Spike had filled her in on what had happened with Riley that afternoon she had quickly agreed.

Spike had spent the whole afternoon trying not to worry too much about what had happened with Buffy. He knew it was a misunderstanding. If he could just get her here tonight to hear what he had to say he knew they would work things out.

He was done fighting it. He didn't care how wrong it was, or what people would think. He was in love with her, and he was tired of fighting it. By the end of tonight Buffy would be his. The rest of the world be damned.

"Man would you please stop pacing, your making me dizzy." Turning to face Xander he couldn't help but sigh. "What is up with you anyway?"

"It's nothing okay," Spike snapped.

"Yeah sure," Xander sighed. "Is this about the new song you had us practice like a million times this afternoon? I didn't say anything in front of the other guys, but it almost sounded like an apology to a chick," Xander fished. Spike sighed running his hand through his hair.

"I screwed up okay, and I have to make it right... I just hope she can forgive me," Spike confessed.

"I didn't know you where seeing anyone," Xander replied shocked.

"It just sort of happened... but she's amazing and I fought it because..." Spike suddenly stopped realizing what he almost admitted.

"Because?"

"You wouldn't understand." Spike sighed looking at his feet.

"Okay, well, I'm not going to push, but when you're ready man I'm here to listen... not judge." Xander smiled patting him on the back.

"It's time." Both Xander and Spike looked up at Angel. Nodding, they prepared to head out onto the stage.

They had been on stage all night without even one break. Buffy had been there with her friends for a few hours now. Spike wanted to sing her song first, but he knew if he did he would never finish the whole gig. All he would want is to go talk to her, and now the night was finally coming to an end.

Looking out into the crowd, Spike saw Buffy sitting at the reserved table with her friends refusing to look at him. Taking a much needed deep breath, he grasped the microphone.

"I want to finish tonight with a song I wrote myself just this afternoon. The thing is I know this amazing woman who is everything I ever wanted," he started. Buffy looked up at him shocked. "But I keep screwing it up, and I just want her to know... I'm sorry about today. I was wrong, and I'm in love with you," he said looking right into Buffy's eyes. He could see they were glassy and she was clearly trying to compose herself.

"It's called Misunderstood."

_iShould I? Could I? Have said the wrong things right a thousand times. If I could just rewind, I see it in my mind. If I could turn back time, you'd still be mine. You cried, I died. I should have shut my mouth, things headed south, YEAH. As the words slipped off my tongue, they sounded dumb. If this old heart could talk, it'd say you're the one. I'm wasting time when I think about it/i_

Buffy couldn't believe it. Spike had just admitted to being in love with her, and now he was up on the stage singing a song he had written himself just for her. Maybe she over reacted today. Maybe he wasn't going to tell her they couldn't be together.

_iI should have drove all night, I would have run all the lights. I was misunderstood. I stumbled like my words, Did the best I could. Damn, misunderstood. Could I? Should I? Apologize for sleeping on the couch that night. Staying out too late with all of my friends. You found me passed out in the yard again./i_

Buffy couldn't help the smile that formed remembering the night she had found him passed out on the front lawn. It had been right after Cecily had cheated on him. She had come home from the Bronze to find him there. Thankfully their parents had not been home as she dragged him inside and tucked him into bed, looking after him.

_iYou cried, I tried. To stretch the truth, but didn't lie. It's not so bad when you think about it. I should have drove all night, I would have run all the lights. I was misunderstood. I stumbled like my words, did the best I could damn, misunderstood intentions good./i_

She knew what he was trying to tell her now. He made a mistake but so had she. This afternoon when she thought he was blowing her off again; he wasn't. She had misunderstood him. As much as she wanted to hear the rest of the song she also wished it would end so she could talk to him alone. She could feel the nervous butterflies in her tummy as they looked into each other's eyes.

_iIt's you and I, just think about it... I should have drove all night. I would have run all the lights. I was misunderstood. I stumbled like my words, did the best I could. I HANGING OUTSIDE YOUR DOOR, I BEEN HERE BEFORE, MISUNDERSTOOD. I stumbled like my words, did the best I could. Damn, misunderstood intentions good./i_

Finishing the song, Spike and the band said goodnight as the club started to attempt to close down for the night. Buffy and her friends moved out of the club with everyone else.

"I might walk home tonight," Buffy announced to her friends.

"I think I should drive you," Cordy replied looking concerned, "after what happened with Riley."

"I'll be fine Spike gave him a really good scare. I don't think we'll be seeing him again for a while trust me."

"Are you sure Buffy?" Willow asked concerned.

"I'll be fine. I promise." Reluctantly, the girls agreed, said their goodbyes and went their separate ways. Buffy slipped into the ally next to the Bronze waiting silently.

Spike had seen Buffy leave the club with her friends over twenty minutes ago. He had hoped she would wait for him. Had she not understood what he was trying to say in his song? Was telling her about his love for her a bad idea? Maybe he scared her off.

Sighing, he tried to clear his mind and moved to help the guys load the last of the equipment into Oz's van. Once finished, he waved as they drove off into the night. Moving to head to his car, he suddenly stopped when someone stepped out in front of him.

"Buffy," he gasped surprised. "You scared me, luv." She just smiled almost like she had a secret.

"What?" he asked confused by her silence. Stepping forward, she looked up into his eyes.

"I love you too." She smiled shyly. Spike felt himself lose control at her admission. Grasping her around the waist, he pulled her into a demanding kiss. As he pushed her up against the ally wall her legs instinctively wrapped around his waist. She moaned at the feel of his hard cock rubbing her aching center. She was slightly surprised when he pulled away putting her down.

"It's not what you think, luv," he informed her when he noticed the hurt look on her face. "I just don't want our first time together to be in a filthy ally. You deserve better then that, Buffy." She felt her heart soar at how highly he thought of her.

"Ever the gentleman." She smiled walking up to him and grabbing the lapels of his leather duster. "I want you, Spike. Please," she begged her voice thick with lust. Taking her hand, he ran her out of the ally heading to his car. He jumped in and floored it. Spike was headed for home intending on finally having the woman of his dreams.

They made it home in record time. The front door slammed open as they tumbled into the house. Their hands reached out for each other. Kicking the door closed, they headed for the stairs never breaking their kiss.

When Spike felt his feet hit the stairs, he finally broke the kiss. Smirking down at the blonde goddess in front of him, he slid one hand down her thigh. Buffy moaned at the feel of his hands on her body. Everywhere he touched left shivers in their wake.

Slipping his hands down her body and cupping her bum, he easily lifted her. Feeling her lean legs wrap around his waist, he moved in to kiss her again. They practically ran up the stairs and into his room, kicking the door shut behind them.

No sooner had they passed through the threshold and into his room, Buffy was pulling his shirt up and over his head. She tossed it to the ground without a second thought. Running her hands up and down his perfectly sculpted chest, she couldn't help but smile with womanly pride as she heard him moan at the feel of her nails running across his nipples. She pushed him back onto the bed, grinning, as he gazed hungrily up at her.

She didn't waste a second before sliding her way up his body, coming to a stop when she sat astride him. They both moaned at the feel of his hardened member pressing against her clothed sex.

Sitting up, Spike lifted her shirt up and over her head tossing it to the floor along with her bra. Buffy let out a gasp as he kissed his way down her throat. Spike wanted to eat her alive. She sat on top of him, straddling his waist and rubbing against him in all the right ways. With every movement she made, every breath she took, her chest bare and begged him to touch her two perfect mounds.

Taking one hardened nipple into his hot mouth, he saw to it properly, before doing the same to the other. Buffy moaned in delight, threading her hand through his hair, pulling him closer.

When Spike move away Buffy pushed him down onto the bed. She smiled wickedly, sliding down his body, leaving a trail of hot, wet kisses down his chest until she reached her destination. Her hands undid his jeans and pulled them down, stopping briefly to untie his shoes before stripping him of the rest of his clothing. Buffy let out a groan at the sight of his now naked form. She had never seen anything so perfect in all her life.

His chest was hard and rippled. His body lean and long. His cock was... ib_**"Oh my God!"**_/b/i__He was huge, hard and begging for attention. True she had seen his cock before, but that night it had been dark, and she had been drunk.

Buffy's mouth watered at the sight of his cock jumping under her gaze. Smiling up at him, her green eyes sparkled with mischief. She gave him no warning before taking his hardened cock into her mouth. He had forgotten how amazing it felt to have her red, wet lips wrapped around his hardened length.

"Oh God," he groaned out; her mouth was so hot. Spike felt like he was on fire. He glanced down and almost came at the sight. She was sucking her cheeks in and he watched as she sucked him up and down. Bringing her hand into play, she cupped his balls, massaging them softly and making him moan in approval.

Taking him deep into her throat and swallowing around his head was almost his undoing. Spike let out a strangled moan at the feel of her taking him in so deep. He glanced down and felt his eyes roll back at the sight before him. Spike felt like he was going to cum at any second. Pulling her up his body, he flipped them so he was now on top of her. She looked confused and slightly hurt, but he cupped her check and he smiled reassuringly.

"When I cum tonight I want to be inside your sweet pussy," he whispered huskily in her ear causing her to blush and moan at the same time. He kissed her feverishly, moving down her body to take one perk nipple into his mouth, sucking and nipping at it skillfully before moving to the other.

Buffy was moaning under him, lifting her hips as she desperately sought some friction to help ease the ache between her legs. Kissing his way down her body, he stopped at her heat, admiring her glistening lips and parting them with his fingers.

He felt her shudder beneath him as his fingers lightly brushed across her clit, and he smiled to himself before bending down to take it into his mouth. He sucked and nipped at her delicate flesh and slipped two long fingers into her welcoming heat, watching her toss her head back and forth in pleasure.

"Oh god Spike," she moaned. Spike couldn't help the smile that formed on his mouth. He loved the effect he was having on her. Spike could feel that her orgasm was close. Slipping a third finger into her, he pumped into her forcefully, feeling himself getting even harder at the sight of her laying naked, legs spread his fingers disappearing and reappearing in and out of her tight quim.

He sucked and licked at her heat like a man dying of thirst. Buffy bucked her hips wildly as her walls clamped down around his invading fingers. Arching her back, she screamed in release.

"SPIKE!" she wailed in her release as her orgasm washed over her in waves. She didn't know it was possible, but her orgasm was even more intense then the one with Spike earlier that day. Spike smirked and crawled his way up her body.

She looked so beautiful with her green eyes shining in the moonlight that poured into the room. Her long golden locks fell over her shoulders framing her face. Her pert breasts bouncing with every movement she made.

Buffy could feel his hardened length rubbing against her wet heat, coating his cock in her juices. He couldn't take it anymore; he needed to be inside her. Spike gazed at Buffy quizzically, silently asking permission. She met Spike's eyes and raised her hips in a silent welcome. She moaned when his cock slipped between her wet lips and rubbed against her clit. Spike teased her with a few strokes to her clit before positioning himself at her entrance and slowly sliding in.

He groaned at the feel of how tight she was. He'd never felt anything like it, almost like she was chocking him. Spike was halfway in when realization hit. Buffy was a virgin. He was taking away her virginity.

"Oh god. Buffy…I-" he started, but she was quick to stop him.

"Please, Spike. D-don't stop… Please," she begged, meeting his lips in a gentle kiss. Buffy sighed in relief when he kissed her back.

"I'm so sorry, pet," he whispered in her ear. Buffy was confused. It was moments later that she realized what he was apologizing for. With one strong thrust he broke her virginal barrier, causing Buffy to cry out in pain, a lone tear sliping down her check.

"I'm so sorry, luv. It will ease soon. I promise," he whispered lovingly into her ear.

Buffy nodded and leaned into the hand that was wiping the tear from her checks. When the pain started to ease Buffy slowly begun to move under him. Spike felt her movement and knew that her pain had diminished. Glancing down to meet her gaze, he started to slowly thrust in and out of her. Buffy let out a moan at the feel of Spike finally being inside of her.

It had never been this good, this intense. Spike felt his eyes roll back at the sensation. There was no other word to describe it other than incredible.

"Oh god, you're so tight." Spike couldn't help but groan, fuelling a fire that had started to burn inside of Buffy. She raked her nails down his back and gasped as his thrusting became faster.

They groaned at the feel of each other; he was so big and Buffy could feel him stretching and filling every inch of her. She was so full. Having Spike inside her felt like coming home. She was complete and whole, and no matter how wrong everyone would say this was in this moment it was so right.

"Oh god, Spike," Buffy moaned quivering in pleasure beneath him with every thrust. Spike hit just the right spot inside her.

"Buffy, you feel so bloody good, pet," Spike groaned. Buffy loved the sound of his voice as they made love; it made her hotter and wetter. Not giving herself a chance to second guess, she let it spill from her lips.

"Tell me more… gah… tell me how it feels being inside me," she begged. He felt his skin go hot as electric shocks shot through his body straight to his cock at her question.

"You feel so hot and so bloody tight… you feel like heaven." Spike slammed his hips down earning him a gasp from Buffy. "You're so wet. Tell me it's for me, only me, pet," he groaned, begging for her to be only his.

"Yes! You! O-only you," she moaned. "Don't s-stop. Harder…I need fast-" she groaned as Spike obliged, thrusting into her harder and faster.

She was so close. She knew she wouldn't last much longer; he felt too good. Each time he moved her leg into a new position, he seemed to slide in even deeper. Spike stretched her filling every part of her. She could feel every ripple and vein on his cock as he slipped in and out of her.

His voice was hot against her skin whispering sweet nothings in her ear. The feel of him pounding into her heat, slipping in and out of her, sent her walls fluttering. Feeling her beneath him, Spike quickened his pace, growling when her hands cupped his bottom and pulled him in harder and faster. She was spiraling completely out of control. Buffy let go. Her walls squeezing his cock like a vice grip as she wailed in release. Spike was panting and letting out a groan when she scraped her nails down his back, his hips thrusting hard and fast against hers.

"SPIKE!" He thrust into her a few more times before he found his own release, groaning as he spilled his seed into her welcoming body.

"Buffy," Spike moaned leaving hot open mouthed kisses along her neck and collar bone as he came down from his high.

"I love you," he whispered looking into her eyes lovingly.

"I love you too." She smiled leaning up kissing him gently. Spike rolled off her. Both Buffy and Spike took a shuddering breath as he slipped from her warmth. He rolled them onto their sides and pulled the blanket up to cover them, sliding an arm around her small waist and pulling her close.

Spike took a deep breath, inhaling her scent, enjoying the feel of having her in his arms. He knew they should talk, but he decided they could deal with the aftermath tomorrow. All he knew was that he couldn't walk away now. No matter what happened he knew they were meant for each other. Sighing happily, they both quickly fell into a dreamless sleep.


	10. Morning after

i_Chapter 10_/i

i_Morning after_/i

Buffy sighed contently as she woke up. She could feel the morning sun warming her skin as it streamed in through the open window. Memories of the night before flooded into her mind as she smiled happily. Rolling over, she reached for Spike, but she met only air. Her smile quickly faded, and her eyes snapped open.

Grasping the sheet to her chest, she franticly looked around the bedroom for any sign of him, but it was in vain. He was clearly not there. How could this happen? He had told her he loved her. Had it all been one big lie? Just a ruse to get her into bed? No. It couldn't be. He had been the one to fight their attraction. Why do that if he just wanted to bed her? Maybe he regretted it? Maybe he woke up this morning and decided it was all a big mistake.

She felt her heart break at the possibilities as tears welled in her eyes threatening to fall. She looked around the room unsure of what to do next. Should she get dressed? Pretend it never happened? That thought alone made the tears she'd been fighting fall. She began to sob. Laying down and curling in a ball, she tried to calm herself. When she heard someone coming into the room she fought franticly to wipe the tears away.

"I thought breakfast in bed was a definite must," she heard Spike say as he put the tray on the bedside table. She felt like an instant idiot for doubting him. Sitting up, she tried her best not to show him how upset she had been just moments before, but when she heard his next words she knew she had failed.

"Buffy, luv, what's wrong?" he asked concerned sitting on the bed beside her.

"Nothing. I'm fine." She smiled trying to convince him. "Oh yum, pancakes, funny shapes my fave." She giggled and moved to grasp the tray, but Spike grabbed her hands and stopped her.

"Buffy, pet, talk to me. Your eyes are red and puffy. You have clearly been crying." She looked down embarrassed. "D... do…do you regret what happened last night?" he asked nervously terrified of her answer. Her head shot up at this.

"What? No, of course not. Last night was the most amazing night of my life. I could never regret it."

"Then what's the problem?" he asked confused, but he was beyond relieved that she had no regrets.

"It's stupid," she replied shaking her head.

"Not if it upset you it's not. Now, please, pet, tell me," he begged. Taking a deep breath, she looked at him.

"When I woke up you... well, you where gone. I just assumed..." she started. He instantly understood.

"Oh! Pet, I'm sorry. I thought for sure I would be back up here before you woke up. I just really wanted to make this morning special," he informed her pointing to the tray of pancakes, fresh juice and a beautiful red rose sitting in a vase.

"You have." She smiled moving in to kiss him. Their kiss quickly deepened as he moved to lay her back rubbing his hardening shaft against her covered sex. When he heard her tummy grumble loudly in protest he pulled back laughing softly.

"You hungry pet?"

"Sounds like it huh, sorry." She blushed slightly embarrassed.

"No need to be sorry. We'll have plenty of time for that later. Now eat." She smiled gratefully as he placed the tray of food on her lap.

After breakfast Spike's band showed up for practice, something he had completely forgotten about. Buffy thought maybe she should go out, but she couldn't bring herself to leave him. Instead she settled for spending the day teasing him.

Putting on her red bikini, a color she knew to be Spikes favorite, she set up in the back yard with Willow, Cordy and Anya sun bathing and talking girl talk. It was safe to say that the band had got very little done. Between the girls all coming in and out regularly for drinks, snacks and toilet breaks, the guys had been completely distracted. After many hours of unsuccessful practice, Spike had decided to call it a day.

Buffy stood by the front door waving goodbye to her friends before closing the door behind her. She giggled inwardly about how the day had gone. Every single one of the guys, besides Wesley, had been drooling all over them and beyond distracted by their presence. It, of course, had drove Wesley crazy trying to get them all to focus. The day had been a success. Buffy turned, heading for the stairs wanting a shower. After spending all day in the hot sun, a shower would feel refreshing, but before she could reach the first step she was slammed into the wall not enough to hurt her but enough to turn her on especially when she saw Spike's lust filled eyes.

"That wasn't very nice, luv, teasing me like that," he whispered huskily in her ear sweeping his tongue across her ear causing her to shiver with need.

"I don't know what you're talking about." She smiled wickedly.

"Don't play dumb with me, pet. It doesn't suit you." She couldn't help but giggle. "I think I might have to punish you for this."

"Really?" She smiled feeling heat burn through her and moisture pooling on her swimmer bottoms. "Is that a promise?" She moaned at the feel of his hard body against hers. Spike couldn't take anymore teasing. She had been walking around in that little red bikini for hours driving him insane with need.

Smashing his lips to hers, he pulled down one side of her bikini top, and he squeezed her soft chest flicking his fingers across her already hard nipple, which earned him a deep moan from her. Moving from her lips, he began spraying wet kisses down her neck until he reached her exposed breast.

Sucking one nipple into his mouth, he flicked his tongue over it repeatedly before sucking it back into his hot mouth biting down gently.

"Oh god," she groaned loving that he was being a little more forceful with her.

Reaching for his pants, she quickly undid them. Pushing them down and quickly wrapping her legs around his waist, he lifted her up pining her between the wall and his body.

"Please, Spike, no more playing. I need you inside me," she said moaning into his ear. Pushing her swimmer bottoms aside, he smiled when he felt how wet she already was, and he thrusted into her. They both moaned loudly at the feel of being joined again, savoring the feeling for a moment before slowly moving again.

"More, Spike. Harder, please," she begged and he quickly obliged. Slamming into her welcoming body hard and fast, he made the photos on the wall shake with the force of their lovemaking.

"Fuck, Buffy. You're so wet for me, so bloody hot," he groaned loving being inside of her again. He knew this is where he was meant to be. They were made for each other he knew that for sure. Buffy could feel that familiar burn in the pit of her stomach start to build as he pounded her into the wall.

"God, Spike… feels so good. Don't stop," she begged

"Never going to stop, pet, never. You're mine now," he growled possessively only fuelling the fire within her.

"Yes yours, only yours," she moaned feeling her walls started to flutter around him. He picked up the pace, thrusting into her harder and faster than ever before feeling his own orgasm building.

"OH FUCK!" Buffy wailed biting into his neck as her orgasm slammed into her. Feeling Buffy's teeth biting into his neck set him into the most powerful orgasm he had ever experienced.

"Oh, Buffy," he groaned. Both were so caught up in their lovemaking neither heard the front door open or noticed the three shocked intruders.

"OH MY GOD!" They turned at the sound of Joyce's voice to see not just Joyce but Giles and Faith too.


	11. The truth will set you free

i_Chapter 11_/i

i_The truth will set you free_/i

_i"OH FUCK!" Buffy wailed biting into his neck as her orgasm slammed into her. Feeling Buffy's teeth biting into his neck set him into the most powerful orgasm he had ever experienced./i_

_i"Oh Buffy__,__" he groaned__.__ Both were so caught up in their love making neither of them heard the front door open or noticed the three shocked intruders./i_

_i"OH MY GOD!" They turned at the sound of Joyce's voice to see not just Joyce but Giles and Faith too./i_

Faith struggled to suppress her giggle as she watched Buffy and Spike desperately try to cover themselves from their families gaze. Although she knew it wasn't something to be laughing at. They had just been caught having sex up against a wall by their parents and cousin. Faith knew just by looking at Joyce's face she was about to explode.

But watching Spike fumble to pull his pants up and tuck his large manhood away, while Buffy desperately searched for something to cover her bikini clad body was amusing to her. Finding one of Spike's button down shirts on the staircase, Buffy quickly swept it up and pulled it on.

Faith smiled ear to ear as they turned to face them. Even though Joyce was glaring at her, she was so happy for the couple, and so glad Buffy had listened to her. She knew Joyce and her own mother would be mad, but there was no way she would stand by and let Joyce make them feel bad or dirty. It was time for the truth to come out.

"Mom, Dad… I thought you weren't coming home 'til tomorrow." Spike sighed still panting from his orgasm, trying to sound normal. There was a stunned pause for a moment before Giles spoke.

"Well, there was a problem with the ship's engine, and we had to dock early," he explained calmly.

Faith saw it happen as if everything was moving in slow motion. She watched Joyce look at Giles in disbelief before turning back to face Buffy and Spike. Her face went red with rage.

"Are you kidding me?" she spat. "Are you both really going to try and pretend we didn't just walk in on this?"

"Mom..." Buffy started wanting desperately to explain but knowing she couldn't. They knew this would come out sooner or later, but they had been hoping for later.

"Don't Buffy. There is nothing you can say to make this right. What where you both thinking? And you William?" she hissed. "I trusted you to look after you sister, and instead I find you fucking her." Buffy realized panic had well and truly set in. Her mother had said fuck. Buffy felt like laughing hysterically as she never swore.

"Joyce calm down," Giles begged.

"Calm down? I will not calm down. She is sixteen years old!" she hissed at her husband.

"Almost seventeen," Spike corrected.

"It's illegal. I could have you throw in jail," she threatened turning to face him.

Buffy felt red-hot panic flood through her.

"You're going to have me arrested?" Spike almost laughed.

"Don't you dare mock me, William. I'm so disappointed in you, both of you." She sighed starting to pace.

"She may be sixteen but she's not a child," Faith said stepping forward.

"You stay out of this Faith," Joyce snapped before turning to face Buffy and Spike again. "Was he the first Buffy? No wait. I don't want to know…I don't think I want to know..." She sighed turning away from them.

"Yes he is the first, the only... Mom I know your upset but I love him," she confessed moving closer to her mother, but quickly stepping back when Joyce spun to face her.

"Don't be ridiculous. Buffy you're sixteen-years old. You don't know what love is," she hissed.

"I'm not some stupid kid, Mom. I know what I feel, and I'm in love with him." she snapped back

"And I love her too." Spike stepped forward wrapping his arm around Buffy's shoulder.

"You are brother and sister. I forbid this," she announced. Faith knew she had to step in.

"That's not completely true. Is it Aunt Joyce?" Joyce spun to face her.

"Faith!" she warned her.

"No. Look, I kept your little secret for years now, but I'm not going to stand by and let you make them feel dirty about this when they have no reason to be," Faith replied standing her ground.

"Dear, perhaps, Faith is right," Giles said stepping forward to lay a supportive hand on her shoulder. Slightly hurt when she jerked away from his touch.

"No. It makes no difference. They were raised brother and sister and had every reason to believe they where. That's what makes this wrong. They should be ashamed."

"No they shouldn't," Faith snapped taking a deep breath she tried to calm herself before speaking again. "Look, they feel in love. You can't fight love. It just happens." She sighed trying to get Joyce to see reason.

"Joyce, it's time," Giles tried again placing his hand on her arm. This time Joyce sighed nodding slightly.

"Wait, what the hell are you all talking about? What do you mean we were raised as brother and sister?" Buffy asked beyond confused and scared. "I mean we are brother and sister, aren't we?"

"Buffy, sweetheart..." Joyce started, but Buffy cut her off feeling fear and anger grip her.

"No more lies, Mom. What is going on?" For a long moment no one spoke. Buffy sighed in frustration turning away from Joyce and looking at Giles.

"You are my father aren't you?"

"Of course I am, Buffy. I was there the day you were born, and I've been there for you every day since. I have watched you grow into a beautiful young woman and I love you with everything that is inside of me. Isn't that what a father is?"

"I'm not asking who loves me most in the whole wide world. I'm asking if you are my biological father... are you?" Giles fell silent. He felt his heart clinch at the fear on her face. "Daddy," she whispered with tears in her eyes. She sounded so child like. He hated this.

"When you mother moved in with William and I, she... she was already pregnant with you," he confessed.

Buffy felt her world fall apart around her, almost like the room was spinning. She felt herself falling as she tried to steady her legs, but Spike grabbed right before she collapsed.

"Buffy, luv." She looked at him concern evident on his face. She felt hot tears prick her eyes. Taking deep breaths, she tried to calm herself.

"Why the secrets?" she whispered he voice laced with anger as she attempted to stand properly. "You had no problem telling us about Jenny. Why keep the fact that Giles isn't my father so secretive?" she asked needing to understand.

"Buffy, it doesn't matter," Joyce argued desperately not wanting her to know the truth.

"Who was he?" she asked her voice strong again, but no one answered. "WHO WAS HE?" she yelled demanding to know.

"His name was Hank Summers," Faith spoke, and Buffy looked at her stunned.

"You knew about this all along? That Spike and I weren't really related?"

"Buffy, I'm sorry. I found out when I was a kid, and my mom made me promise to never tell you," Faith tried to explain.

"I came to you, and told you about how I felt for Spike. You knew how dirty I felt, like there was something wrong with me, and still you said nothing." Buffy confronted her feeling anger burn through her. "I stood by you when you came out. Every one said you where wrong or it was just a phase, but not me. I stood up for you, defended you and this is how you thank me?" Buffy all but yelled.

"Buffy, it wasn't her fault. I should have told you in the beginning," Joyce intervened.

"So why didn't you, Mother? Explain to me why you would keep this from me?" Joyce knew she had no choice. Buffy deserved the truth.

"I met Hank in my second year at university. You have to understand, Buffy, it was a very difficult time for me. Both my parents had just died in a car crash, and Jenny had moved away to England to go to university herself. I was feeling very much so alone." Taking a deep breath, she continued, "Hank and I married right after graduation. Things where great at first, but soon after the honeymoon he started to change." Giles wrapped a supportive arm around her shoulders urging her to continue.

"He started cheating on me, and when I comforted him he became abusive. At first it was just verbally, but eventually it became physical. I wanted to leave, but I was scared of being alone so I stayed. When Jenny passed away I... we were both crushed. We leaned on each other and became close friends. It was a little while after Giles and William moved here that I discovered I was pregnant with you, Buffy. I had hoped this would make Hank change, but when I told him he accused me of sleeping with Giles. He told me I had to get rid of you, but I refused." Joyce visibly shuddered at the memory of that day.

"He beat me terribly that day. I ended up in hospital, and I was certain I had lost you, but somehow you managed to survive. You where a miracle. After that, I told him I had miscarried, got a restraining order, and filed for divorce. Giles took me in and helped me move on with my life. We fell in love. We didn't mean for it to happen; it just did," she whispered.

"Okay… so my dad was a wife beating dead beat… still doesn't explain why you thought you needed to keep that from me. I mean I could have handled it," Buffy replied shaking her head in confusion.

Joyce looked up with tears in her eyes, and that's when Buffy knew there was more, and the more was much worse.

"What happened mom?" she whispered unsure if she truly wanted to know.

"I was about seven months pregnant with you. Giles and I had just started officially dating when the police showed up at our door to tell me Hank had been arrested."

"For what?" Buffy waited a moment, but got no answer. "What where the charges?" she demanded to know.

"He had been arrested for the... the rape and murder of a fourteen year old girl," Joyce whispered unable to look at her daughter.

"Oh my god." Buffy felt sick to her stomach.

"I didn't want to believe it at first. I mean Hank was many things, but I never thought he wasn't capable of such evil... she was such a sweet little girl."

"You knew her?" Buffy asked stunned.

"Her name was Annabelle. She lived two doors down from where Hank and I lived."

"Well, I mean… maybe they were wrong, maybe he didn't do it," Buffy babbled hoping they had been wrong.

"I wish they where, sweetheart, but the evidence was overwhelming."

"What evidence?" she asked, but when she got no answer she lost her temper. "WHAT EVIDENCE?" she yelled.

"They found his DNA under her finger nails and other places," she whispered. Buffy felt bile rise up in her throat, instantly know what her mother meant by b**other places**/b "and there was a person who witnessed him trying to get rid of her body."

"I think I'm going to be sick," she announced trying to get her stomach to stop doing flip- flops.

"Buffy..." Giles stepped forward touching her arm only to have her jerk back.

"Don't touch me. You're not my father!" she spat. She saw the hurt all over Giles' face but couldn't let go of her anger long enough to care. "I never want to talk to you ever again. You're a liar, and I hate you," she hissed at her mother storming past them all and heading for the door

"Buffy..." Faith spoke trying to stop her.

Swinging around to face her cousin, she spoke, venom lacing her voice, "Don't you dare talk to me either. I trusted you. I was there for you when no one else was. You should have told me the truth. As far as I'm concerned, you can go to hell." She ran out of the house, slamming to door behind her so hard it shock with the force. Running as fast as her feet could take her, she didn't know where she was going just that she never wanted to go back again.


	12. Unbroken promises sometimes hurt too

i_Chapter 12_/i

i_Unbroken promises_/i

After a brief argument with his parents, Spike headed out to find Buffy. He couldn't believe the turn of events, Buffy wasn't his sister; the thought was causing his mind to spin. In one instance he was over the moon, what they were doing wasn't wrong, they weren't dirty or bad and it was completely okay for them to not just be attracted to each other but to have a relationship. But on the down side he had seen the hurt and betrayal on Buffy's face and had heard it in her voice. She had looked so sad. It had broken his heart.

He had been looking for her for hours now, the sun had long since gone down and it was getting cold. He remembered she had run out of the house only wearing her bikini and one of his shirts; she had to be freezing by now.

He had stopped by all her friends houses telling them what had happened, leaving out the fact that the truth had only come out because they had been caught having sex, he knew his parents would be upset at him for telling their friends that Giles wasn't Buffy's father, but he wanted their friends to know and for the town to know so when they finally came out about being together they were not looked on as sick simply cause everyone still believed they were related.

He had checked the Bronze and all her usual hang outs; like the espresso pump and the ice cream bar with no luck. It occurred to him then that if he had calmed down for a moment he would realize Buffy only went to one spot when she was upset. Silently cursing himself for being so daft, he jumped in his car and headed for Sunnydale look out.

He saw her the moment he pulled up, sitting on the edge of the lookout fearlessly, hugging her arms around herself tightly no doubt in an effort to block out some of the cold. Stepping out from behind the wheel, he shut the car door and headed over to her, draping his heavy duster over her shoulders he took a seat beside her wrapping his arms around her tightly rubbing her arms to warm her up.

"I've been looking for you everywhere luv. I've been worried sick," he whispered in her hair.

"I'm sorry. I needed time alone," she sighed feeling bad for worrying him.

"You must be freezing pet."

"Yeah, I am a little bit, but I wasn't ready to go home." He nodded understandingly.

"I should call mum and dad to let them know your okay. Half the town is looking for you."

"His not my dad," Buffy spat a little harshly.

"Buffy-" Spike started but she quickly cut him off.

"No Spike! He's not my dad. My dad is some sick pervert who prays on little girls before he murders them," she hissed standing from her seat and moving towards his car. "What if I'm just like him Spike? What if I have the same evil in me?" she cried tears pricking in her eyes as she turned to face him. He could see the fear on her face.

"Is that what you think? It's not possible, Buffy. You are the kindest and gentlest person I have ever met. You don't have an evil bone in your body," he replied trying to reassure her.

"No? I had no problem sleeping with someone I had ever reason to believe was my brother."

"If your evil because of that then I guess I am too."

"I persuaded you!"

"I could have said no."

"If I remember correctly, you did."

"Buffy, you're grasping at straws and you know it! Hank may be you father by blood, but you are nothing like him." he said moving forward and cupping her checks gently.

"How can you be sure? I'm so scared Spike. What if I get older and I become like him? What if it's in my blood?" She whispered looking up into his eyes tears falling down her face.

"Then Joyce is in your blood too, and she is so good and pure. It will wipe out anything bad, but Buffy I don't believe for a second that it's in your blood" he relied wiping the tears from her checks. "I know you, Buffy. I've looked into your heart and all that is there is goodness. It's the part of you I love you so much." Moving forward, he kissed her with everything he felt inside him.

She clung to him and his words; desperately needing to know he was there with her and that he was right about her. Breaking apart, they gasped for air.

"I'm right Buffy, and I mean it when I say I love you. Nothing will ever change that. I love what you are, what you do, and how you try. I've seen your kindness and your strength. I've seen the best and the worst of you, and I understand with perfect clarity exactly what you are. You're a hell of a woman," he told her love shinning in his eyes as more tears fell from her's."You're the one Buffy." She couldn't stop the sob that tore through her throat.

"I love you so much," she cried before smashing her lips onto his. Their kiss quickly became hot and demanding. In a matter of seconds, Buffy had Spike pinned between her and his car, but he knew they needed to stop. Everyone was worried about her, and he still hadn't called their parents.

"Buffy luv-" he spoke pulling away, "as much as I really want to finish this we need to get home. Everyone is out looking for you." She nodded in agreement.

"What did you tell everyone? Why I ran off?"

"The truth."

"What?" she gasped surprised.

"Buffy, I want to be able to share with the world one day soon that your mine, and I can't very well do that while all our friends believe we are related so I figured the truth would be the best explanation."

"What did they say?"

"Some people were shocked of course but your friends, especially Cordy, were not to surprised something about us looking nothing alike." Buffy giggled at this. "Buffy dad was really hurt," he said seriously. Her smile turned to a frown quickly.

"I didn't mean what I said to him. I was just so mad at them both. I mean don't get me wrong I understand why they kept it from me. It's just the thought that Giles isn't really my dad hurts a lot" she explained.

"Buffy, Giles may not be your biological father, but he is your dad." Buffy nodded a small smile on her face as they slipped into the car and headed home.

Pulling up to their house, Buffy felt a mixture of fear and panic hit her. She knew she had to go inside. Spike had called their parents on the way home so they could call off the search party, and she could hear her mother's anxious voice through the phone begging to know if she was alright.

Slipping from the car, Buffy took a much needed breath as they headed up the walk way that lead to the front door. Spike grasped her hand supportively as they walked inside. In seconds, they were surrounded by her friends and family all asking if she was okay and where she went; everyone but Giles who was standing back looking anxious and hurt.

Buffy felt her heart break.

She had caused him pain with her harsh words. Moving past everyone, she came to stand in front of the man she had known and love as her father her whole life.

"I'm so sorry dad," she whispered tears pricking her eyes. He moved fast hugging her as close as he could get her.

"No, Buffy, it's I who is sorry. I should have been honest with you, but I so desperately wanted to spare you any pain," he whispered in her hair.

"I know you did that's why I love you so much, and I don't care if we share the same DNA or not, you're my dad and nothing will ever change that. I didn't mean what I said before I was just angry," she rambled looking up at him.

"I love you too princess." He smiled moving forward to kiss her forehead affectionately.

"Buffy." She heard her mother's voice. Turning to face her, Buffy spoke.

"I understand why you did what you did keeping the truth from me, but I'm still upset. I have questions that I hope when I ask you will answer honestly no matter how much you might think the answer will hurt me."

"I promise sweetheart," Joyce said hugging her close before moving to reveal Faith.

"Buffy-" she started, but Buffy was quick to cut her off.

"I trusted you and while I understand why no one wanted me to know the truth; you're the one I expected to have told me first. I came to you scared and unsure about what to do and you had the answer the whole time to stop me feeling so ashamed and dirty and still you said nothing."

"Buffy, I swore years ago to never tell you about Hank," she tried to explain but it was useless.

"I know but if the rolls where reversed, and you had come to me, sworn to secrecy or not, I would have told you hoping it would offer at least some comfort," Buffy informed her. "You're not just my cousin. You're my best friend, and I thought out of everyone you where the one I could truly count on. It turns out I was wrong." she finished moving past Faith and her friends disappearing up stairs.

Faith felt guilt slam through her at Buffy's words. Buffy was right, promise or not, she should have told Buffy about Hank. Buffy had been the only one to stand by her when she came out. The only one who didn't call her wrong or say it was a phase, and she had betrayed her trust. Faith knew even if it took the rest of her life she would find a way to make it up to her.


	13. Never look back

Chapter 13

_Never look back_

**Two weeks later**

Buffy played with the hem of her dress nervously. Her and Spike had been parked out the front of Faith's apartment for ten minutes now unsure of what she was going to do or say once she went upstairs. Spike had yet to say a word to her since they pulled up, she knew he was letting her take her time, trying not to push her.

It had been two weeks since she had last seen or talked to Faith, she had blamed her for not telling her the truth about Hank and about the fact that her and Spike where not really related but the truth was it wasn't really Faith's fault. Buffy was just angry, scared and looking for someone, anyone to blame.

"Luv, you have to face her some time," Spike spoke softly.

"I know," she replied.

"Besides be a shame to drive all this way and not talk to her" Buffy giggled softly at this, nodding her head she opened her door, stepping out of the car she moved for the door, Spike following closely behind her but as she reached for the buzzer Kennedy stepped outside.

"Buffy," she gasped clearly surprised to see her.

"Hi Kennedy, is Faith home?"

"She is," she replied sounding a little defensive as she crossed her arms across her chest "But Buffy if your only her to lay more blame on Faith and make she feel even more rotten then she already does then you may as well turn around a god back home."

"No I'm…" Buffy started only to be cut off.

"Cause you know Buffy your last little rant left Faith devastated, I mean do you know how hard it was for her to keep the truth from you? Do you think even for a moment that she wanted to? She didn't, but your own mother left her with very little choice," she spat.

"I know and I'm sorry," Buffy whispered looking down ashamed

"And another thing…. What?" Kennedy's lecture was cut short but Buffy's surprise apology.

"I'm not here to cause her anymore grief. I'm here to tell her how sorry I am for being a total bitch," Buffy sighed. "It wasn't her fault, and she was put in a really hard situation knowing the truth about Hank. I was just really angry, and I guess I needed someone to blame."

"Oh well in that case." Kennedy moved to open the door. "Go on up, Spike can come have a coffee with me at the café just next door."

"Will you be alright luv?" he asked unsure if he should leave her.

"I'll be fine. Its better I do this alone anyway" Spike nodded agreeing before he left Kennedy drag him away.

Smiling at their retreating forms, Buffy head up the stairs before stopping at the door. Taking a few moments, she took a much needed deep breath before she knocked on the door. It only took a few seconds before the door swung open to revile Faith who was still in her P.J.'s her eyes red and puffy. She clearly hadn't been sleeping well and her eyes showed the evidence of many tears; Buffy knew she was to blame.

"I'm so sorry," Buffy whispered moving fast to wrap her arms around Faith tightly. Faith held her back just as tightly before they stepped back.

"I didn't think I would see you again," Faith said stepping aside so Buffy could come in.

"I'm sorry I left you thinking that. I was scared and confused, and I needed someone to blame but truthfully it's no one's fault. You guys just wanted to protect me and after what I was told about this Hank I don't blame you," she sighed taking a seat at the kitchen table. Faith sat across from her.

"You know you're nothing like him right? You don't even look like him" Buffy looked up at this.

"Do you… do you have a photo of him?" Buffy asked unsure if she truly wanted to see it if she did. Faith got up moving to her room. She reemerged moments later.

"After he was locked up they got rid of most of them, but I found this not long after I found out the truth and figured you might want it one day" Buffy took a deep breath before taking the photo from her.

Faith was right she looked nothing like this stranger that she apparently shared a genetic bond with. His hair was dark where hers was fair. His skin was pale but hers was tanned. His nose was flat and round where hers was thinner and more pointed. He was stocky built where she had always been thin, truth was she saw no resemblance at all and she was glad for it.

"I have to ask. How did you find out the truth?" Buffy asked looking up at Faith.

"It was purely by accident. I overheard a conversation about it between my mum and yours; they said you could never know the truth that if I told you I would be ruining your life"

"That's a huge burden to carry around. I'm sorry they put you in that situation." Faith reached over and grabbed Buffy's hand giving it a slight squeeze.

"I'm sorry you found out the way you did. I wanted to tell you, but I was scared too. What if they were right, and I told you and you hated me forever because I had ruined your life? I couldn't do that to you but when Joyce was standing there trying to call what you and Spike had wrong and dirty…. Well I just couldn't keep quiet anymore regardless of the consequences."

"I'm glad you told me. It's better that I know the truth and besides now no one can keep Spike and I apart," Buffy smiled happily.

"I'm glad you guys are doing okay. You are perfect for each other."

"Thanks," Buffy replied the smile now fading from her face was quickly replaced with one that was slightly more serious.

"I was going to ask mum, but honestly I don't want to upset her and dredge up bad memories for her" she took a breath trying to think of the best way to ask her question.

"Buffy, you can ask me anything, and I promise there will be no more secrets between us."

"Do you… do you know where Hank is now? Is he still in prison?" Faith sighed. She knew eventually this question would come up and as she had said no more secrets.

"He's dead sweetie." she squeezed her hand again "He was found stabbed to death two years ago in the prison bathroom."

"Oh," was all Buffy could say.

"I'm sorry sweetie" Faith's heart broke for her she could see the hurt flickering in her eyes.

"No it's fine I mean it's not like I even care" Buffy scoffed.

"Oh course you do. He was your father regardless of the things he said or done. I know it would hurt you otherwise you wouldn't be you." Buffy looked up at Faith tears shinning in her sad eyes.

"I don't know why I'm even upset. It's not like I knew him. I never even meet him and besides he was a cold blooded murder," she cried softly

"I know what he was, but I also know who you are and what type of person you are, kind, caring, loving, that's why you care, that's why your upset, you have always felt so much even for those you don't know. Not many of us have that in us."

"Thanks Faith," she smiled wiping the tears from her eyes.

"Buffy, he is buried close by, if you want I could take you there maybe it would offer you some sort of closure" Buffy thought about it for a moment before nodding in agreement.

Ten minters later, Buffy found herself standing in front of her biological father's grave and next to it was who she assumed where her biological grandparents.

"They died in a car crash not long after Hank and Joyce met." Buffy nodded swallowing at the lump in her throat.

"So does he have any family living?"

"No. He had no aunts or uncles and he was an only child," Faith replied honestly.

"So who took care of his funeral and all that?" Buffy asked slightly confused.

"Your parents." Buffy's head jerked up shocked "Remember about two years ago they said they had to go and sign paper work in L.A, you wanted to go but they left you and Spike with mum and I?"

"Yeah"

"Well the prison had called your mum; turns out Hank had her written down as his next of kin. The prison offered to turn his body over to the state, but your mum wouldn't let then so her and Giles paid for a simple burial next to his parents" Faith explained.

"Why would they do that after everything he did?" she asked confused

"Because of you, I guess your mum felt she should burry him right. He may have been a violent asshole but he gave her a daughter, you."

"Yeah a daughter he never wanted," Buffy hissed

"Maybe not but Joyce always wanted you and so did Giles." Buffy smiled knowing she was right, the man that laid in the grave in front of her wasn't her real father, no she decided Giles was the true essence of a real dad, loving, loyal, supportive.

She knew she could leave here and never have to worry about Hank or the things he did again. He wasn't a part of her life; she didn't owe his memory anything. She was glad Faith had brought her here because it had made her realize that she had a dad and he was wonderful.

"Let's get out of here." Buffy smiled

"Great idea," Faith replied wrapping her arms around Buffy's shoulders as they walked out of the cemetery never looking back.


End file.
